Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 23 Aug 2017

    Report: Majority Of Time In Pool Spent Urging Others To Enter Pool http://trib.al/MpMAUN3 pic.twitter.com/xSIGGCHtWm

    10:32 AM - 23 Aug 2017
    • 566 Retweets
    • 2,910 Likes
    • Dominic Colianni PR0d1gyV2 PSN Honey Panangguilan Lance Johnson spookymemma Victoria McCoy JoséReneHuertaPérez Madeline Warner Lucas bakken-heck
    31 replies 566 retweets 2,910 likes
      1. jaSUN voorhees‏ @ictussunshine 23 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        "the pool" is a euphemism for marriage.

        0 replies 0 retweets 13 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. qwertyoruiop‏ @qwertyoruiopz 23 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @nitoTV @NotJonSeals

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Hope Bryant‏ @hopenoelle22 23 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @Coop_Der_It_Is

        I have this suit!!! @Jenlyn_21 @Coop_Der_It_Is

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. K. Cooper‏ @Coop_Der_It_Is 23 Aug 2017
        Replying to @hopenoelle22 @TheOnion @Jenlyn_21

        I knew it looked familiar

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. Howard Rogers‏ @Pr1nceOfDarknes 23 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @BroderickGreer

        2nd place; peeing in pool

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. 🅳ɐνï∂ ค Ⓚ๏๏ภʇչ‏ @davidakoontz 23 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        is this similar to the neurology of pregnancy ... same behavior - right?

        0 replies 1 retweet 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Jaime de Leon‏ @dleonjaime 23 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Same for dance floors full of white people.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. brian peters‏ @brianpeters23 23 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @christyrobinson

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Senor~Pickle‏ @JimmyBuffetSux 25 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        What a great pair.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Rajeev Kumar Yadav‏ @helloraj0786 24 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @mikiebarb

        I Like your pic........

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Tony D‏ @biff725 23 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Std's, Hmmm

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Anna‏ @imSo0verIt 23 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Anna Retweeted The Onion

        @YouD0NtKnowhttps://twitter.com/theonion/status/900410318995820544 …

        Anna added,

        The OnionVerified account @TheOnion
        Report: Majority Of Time In Pool Spent Urging Others To Enter Pool http://trib.al/MpMAUN3  pic.twitter.com/xSIGGCHtWm
        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. yungfoxmain  ☄️キグナス ☄️ - New Eye’s Search‏ @VVideoneon 23 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Gotta clean it

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Hire a Veteran‏ @tweet_b_r_o 23 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This is fake news! Majority Of Time In Pool Spent Urging Other to Take off Bathing suit. Cmon

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Cheeto Marie‏ @CheetoMarie209 23 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @DCYOUNGFLY DIS YOU.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. 2+2=5‏ @CraigNLevitt 23 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Majority of time people pee in the pool urges others to pee in the pool.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Darwin Holmstrom‏ @DarwinHolmstrom 23 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Peeing was a distant second.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info