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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 20 Aug 2017

    Report: Pickup Basketball Player Too Sweaty To Guard http://trib.al/QRrldzr pic.twitter.com/G1mIbQFIQG

    12:28 PM - 20 Aug 2017
    • 281 Retweets
    • 1,149 Likes
    • K1ngPac👑 Megan Hakes David Stagg Charles cowart Mikasa Capri-Sun Zahir Sam McDougle Ted david shayne
    22 replies 281 retweets 1,149 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. InsideHoops.com NBA‏Verified account @InsideHoops 20 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This report has been confirmed

        1 reply 1 retweet 13 likes
      3. InsideHoops.com NBA‏Verified account @InsideHoops 20 Aug 2017
        Replying to @InsideHoops @TheOnion

        UPDATE: Court is now flooded. Game canceled.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Oskar‏ @OLadfors 20 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @ClSisul

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Cole Ebenroth‏ @CEbenroth 20 Aug 2017
        Replying to @OLadfors @TheOnion @ClSisul

        This is for sure @Gellerstedt20 especially because he loves to take his shirt off and make it 8 times worse.

        1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
      4. Gelly‏ @Gellerstedt20 20 Aug 2017
        Replying to @CEbenroth @OLadfors and

        I didnt ask to be sweaty mess 😒

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      5. Cole Ebenroth‏ @CEbenroth 20 Aug 2017
        Replying to @Gellerstedt20 @OLadfors and

        It's okay we love you anyways 😘

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      6. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Miller Low Life‏ @KyleHargreaves5 20 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @DDonakov

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      3. Dimitrij‏ @DDonakov 20 Aug 2017
        Replying to @KyleHargreaves5 @TheOnion

        Don't knock his hustle

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. Dr. Caternet Pumpkin‏ @nowthethingis 20 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        #alongcamepaulypic.twitter.com/qUVpft8GL6

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
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      1. New conversation
      2. jd-uh-check‏ @electronimity 20 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Its glandular!

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. FE4REELSS‏ @Fe4Reelss 20 Aug 2017
        Replying to @electronimity @TheOnion

        Hyperhydrosis

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. Conboy Dongboy‏ @cummgoblin 20 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I feel attacked

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
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      1. Kyle Jahner‏Verified account @kylejahner 20 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        If I really ever played basketball this would be my primary offensive weapon. Because my jump shot and quickness sure ain't it.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Valencia Orange Peel‏ @xMephistox 21 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        White guy takes off shirt on sunny day, solar eclipse glasses required for rest of game

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Scott Seiver‏ @scottmseiver 20 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @Outasight haha

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Joseph Mack‏ @JdotMack 20 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        we've all been there

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Adam Finster‏ @AdamExclamation 20 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @d_craig4

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. New conversation
      2. Yucheng‏ @ychngln 21 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @marc31_

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. 1 more reply

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