Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 13 Aug 2017

    76 Million Baby Boomers Abscond To Fiji After Draining Nation’s Social Security, Medicare Accounts http://trib.al/Tus5zHW pic.twitter.com/uqNCZen7Eh

    4:44 PM - 13 Aug 2017
    • 202 Retweets
    • 823 Likes
    • Robert Turner awfulgoodmovies some dude Chip Eagle Brianna White patrick something Colton Brownie Dr.Strangelove
    17 replies 202 retweets 823 likes
      1. boingboingbbeep‏ @boingboingbbeep 13 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Area old dude screams: get to work, I need my benefits!

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. tim arace‏ @timarace 13 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @RebelCommando7pic.twitter.com/OLZZJDiuO6

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charles S. Freeman!‏ @cspencef 13 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Poor Fiji.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Sedary Raymaker‏ @SedaryRaymaker 13 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        It's the Millennials' fault somehow.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Richard Graus‏ @r_graus 13 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        When's the next plane?

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. 𝕭𝖆𝖉  🇩🇴 𝕳𝖔𝖒𝖇𝖗𝖊‏ @GCDlAZ 13 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        You think this is a joke post, just wait

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Cal Saves the World ✪‏ @613rockstar 13 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Hmm. Canary Islands is funnier than Fiji. Cmon Onion! That's Day 1 in Comedy School.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Tweet unavailable
      4. Cal Saves the World ✪‏ @613rockstar 13 Aug 2017
        Replying to @Evil_Morty_C131 @TheOnion

        I'm sorry but you're wrong.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      5. End of conversation
      1. ALLVINN!‏ @grandmajohnson5 13 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I think what you meant to say is, finally getting our money back that we've paid into for the past 45 years.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. J Allen‏ @The_JJAllen 13 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        They'll come crawling back when it's time to refill their prescriptions.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Stephanie Young‏ @foxhavens 13 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Hmmm I wish I had been older before today

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. mksr13‏ @MargaretSR13 13 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Talk to me about it after you turn 50.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. huskydog‏ @huskydog 13 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Save and invest yourself and you won't have to depend on the Government which is a total crap shoot.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Doc Hollywood Media‏ @DocHollywoodM 13 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Is there an Extradition Agreement with Fiji?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. AMarie‏ @AMarie72 13 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Damn those old people!!! 😂😂😂

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Casey Ryback (rat god)‏ @toadswiback 13 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Sandals Resort opens Pacific Trash Vortex locationhttps://onetie-alltie.com/2017/01/24/sandals-resort-opens-pacific-trash-vortex-location/ …

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Lara  🇺🇸‏ @DPWIMM 13 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I wanna go.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. catplanet3839‏ @catplanet3839 13 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Dammit, I knew there would be none left 4 me.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info