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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 13 Aug 2017

    God Planning To Get Rid Of Harsh Shadows By Adding Second Sun http://trib.al/kgfEJRX pic.twitter.com/LXCycOBgic

    8:20 AM - 13 Aug 2017
    • 166 Retweets
    • 736 Likes
    • billusko Play with the Blood Pierre-Simon Laplace AmberSpanks Ⓥ Kristina Miljković Tina Kurtz Jessica Gostling CHDIR A:\GAME Nicola Chiorazzo
    25 replies 166 retweets 736 likes
      1.  🐾 📧 ☕️ 2️⃣ 0️⃣ 0️⃣ 0️⃣‏ @PaulyT2000 13 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        That's #FakeNews! The REAL reason God is adding a 2nd sun is because he's a huge Star Wars nerd.

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
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      1. Arnoldo_Fayne‏ @Arnoldo_Fayne 13 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Monolith on Jupiter waiting to do it's thing.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Zonko Zipper‏ @zonko_zipper 13 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        After 6,000 years, I'm sure the wrinkles are starting to show. Good lighting really takes the years off. 😉

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. Zonko Zipper‏ @zonko_zipper 13 Aug 2017
        Replying to @zonko_zipper @TheOnion

        Sounds pretty cool. I'll have to try to get outside this month to see those!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Dennis Lafontaine‏ @dennis28879953 13 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Think global warming is a thing now, wait til the 2nd sun rises!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. DaffyDano‏ @DaffyDano 13 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Does this mean there'll be a Third Coming?

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Connor Caddell‏ @ConnorCaddell 13 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        About time

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. BadWolf‏ @Sam7ToHillary 13 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Jesus gets a Caining.

        0 replies 1 retweet 0 likes
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      1. David Hawley‏ @DavidHawley2 13 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Probably better than adding a second Son.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1.  🙏 MINORITIES4Trump‏ @DasaPurusha 13 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        He could, but the solar system was designed perfectly the first time, so there's no need.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Larryw‏ @Westlarryc 27 Sep 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Hopefully not Donald Jr....

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. David Vance Sr‏ @DavidVanceSr2 14 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        GOD GAVE US HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON 2000 YEARS AGO, AND HAS NO INTENTIONS OF ADDING A SECOND SON.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Sanju‏ @Only1_Sanjeev 13 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        2 sun screens

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Michael Minick‏ @MichaelPMinick 13 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        They spelled it wrong. It's "son," and I'm already here. @TheStephenLynch foretold of my water to Coors powers. Thy name is, Craig!pic.twitter.com/KI4i8tDYsz

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Joe Lukas‏ @JosephLukas1776 13 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Yes, but can God get CNN and the mainstream media up to "The Onion's" standards of journalism and integrity? #theonion #cnnisfakenews

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Dennis Stillman‏ @DennisNobody 13 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Maybe god does have a plan for everything after all. It has to be better than that pesky theory of evolution.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Todd Spangrud‏ @twin1todd 13 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        It will go from west to east.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. 50ShadesOfLightsaber‏ @50Lightsabers 13 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Technically, to remove harsh shadows, an even layer of clouds would do a better job.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Cloud Nine‏ @Dreamer69911 13 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Black Hole Sun - Soundgarden 🤘🏻⚡️🎸🙏🏻😔

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. JLK Greystone‏ @JLKGreystone 13 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Finally affirmative action by the I AM!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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