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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 9 Aug 2017

    Single 34-Year-Old Man Hasn’t Said Full Sentence Aloud Outside Work Hours In Past 3 Months http://trib.al/O5PKU93 pic.twitter.com/tfAZaeCwa2

    10:44 AM - 9 Aug 2017
    • 287 Retweets
    • 1,386 Likes
    • Andrew Morrow Tyler McNiel Hound | RAD Aidan Killackey snotgirl 🤧 when the gay Clayton Gilbert JG andrwhoooooo allen 👻
    22 replies 287 retweets 1,386 likes
      1. merelylooking‏ @merelylooking 9 Aug 2017
        Replying to @SumTomGoingOn @TheOnion

        It feels funny "liking" this post - it's more an "aww" + wry smile.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Matt‏ @matt_gaikema 9 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/p4F42RagbA

        0 replies 0 retweets 8 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Rodney. PTSD Avenger  ™️‏ @RLpontificates 9 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        How the fuck is that guy 34.? If he completed the sentence it would say: just kidding I'm 54..

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Tweet unavailable
      4. Rodney. PTSD Avenger  ™️‏ @RLpontificates 9 Aug 2017
        Replying to @SumTomGoingOn @TheOnion

        Touché.!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      5. End of conversation
      1. BigMan_OnCampus‏ @BigMan_OnCampus 9 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        That's not true, he screamed "YES" a few weeks ago, after apparently beating a boss.

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Alex Ruge‏ @Roooogalicious 9 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @KoehlersKorner also me

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. John Koehler‏ @KoehlersKorner 9 Aug 2017
        Replying to @Roooogalicious @TheOnion

        Classic Ruge

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Rory‏ @MrRory 9 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @smatchmo

        I talk to myself too much to succeed with something like this.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. smatchmo‏ @smatchmo 9 Aug 2017
        Replying to @MrRory @TheOnion

        Yesterday I said "hey, how's everycat doing this morning?" to Stormy and Elphie. I think that was the last thing I said out loud.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Pears of Wisdom‏ @PerasOfWisdom 10 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Does he cook, at least?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. NEET-Wizard Janus‏ @NEETWizardJanus 10 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I thought this was supposed to be a parody news site. Cats & dogs living together; MASS hysteria!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Jeff Amador‏ @jeffamador2 9 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @eb2382 me, every weekend

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. bae‏ @mkr710 9 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        too close to home

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Moderate Democrat‏ @ModerateDem_ 9 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I've been there. 😟

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. tony m‏ @theonlytonym 9 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Not true. I talk to the spiders in my shower.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Dr. Acula, MD‏ @THEpopeTUREK 9 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Story of my

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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