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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

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    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 7 Aug 2017

    Man Waiting Until Parents Die Before Doing A Single Thing That Makes Him Happy http://trib.al/k7frev7 pic.twitter.com/9WO94xjnLU

    6:07 PM - 7 Aug 2017
    • 402 Retweets
    • 1,702 Likes
    • Kwamin Marshall paulette spooky ho 🍭 misbah Lew is Dead (on the Inside) kaci JG Sabbir Hossain
    30 replies 402 retweets 1,702 likes
      1. serror‏ @saraharahrahrah 7 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        crap, this is me

        0 replies 0 retweets 9 likes
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      1. shane duke newitt‏ @shanedukenewitt 7 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Heeeeeeey onion! Stay in ur lane. Ken Burns is the only one authorized to tell my life story! 😡

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. Stud McMillionaire‏ @S_McMillionaire 7 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Delete this article of me

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. Rem Oscuro‏ @RemOscuro 7 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        That's everybody who isn't a clone of their parents.

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
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      1. Maria Dinn‏ @MariaDinn 7 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Wtf is this??! This is Completely horrifying.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. indiecindy17‏ @indiecindy171 7 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        In the same situation. I'm still waiting

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Lou‏ @DakotaEarthHorn 8 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @Zenmaster_Blue

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Tony D‏ @biff725 7 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Some Parents Huh

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Jared Kushner‏ @jaredkushnr 7 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Well that’s no fun. Hopefully it isn’t a long wait.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. New conversation
      2. The Priest‏ @HuskerPriest 7 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Woos? @TailgateC9 @douga3m @jamierohrig @westcoast402 @FatStacksLLC @leastbutnotlast

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Doug‏ @douga3m 7 Aug 2017
        Replying to @HuskerPriest @TheOnion and

        That couch is perfect.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. Fat Stacks Capital‏ @FatStacksLLC 7 Aug 2017
        Replying to @douga3m @HuskerPriest and

        That couch. It works. #Abel705

        1 reply 1 retweet 0 likes
      5. HumanSandpaper‏ @TailgateC9 7 Aug 2017
        Replying to @FatStacksLLC @douga3m and

        1144!!

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      6. The Priest‏ @HuskerPriest 7 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TailgateC9 @FatStacksLLC and

        1044 = drugs, sex and rock n roll.

        2 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      7. Fat Stacks Capital‏ @FatStacksLLC 7 Aug 2017
        Replying to @HuskerPriest @TailgateC9 and

        ...minus the sex and drugs.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      8. End of conversation
      1. Jasmine Sabedra‏ @jasminesabedra 7 Aug 2017
        Replying to @DeCampski @TheOnion

        geez

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Andrea Gonzalez‏ @LiberalCardigan 8 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        ME

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. sophiescholl‏ @sophiescholl 7 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This is my life

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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