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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 3 Aug 2017

    AARP Offers Honorary Membership To Young People Whose Lives Are Essentially Overpic.twitter.com/xSAkMrj3md

    9:08 AM - 3 Aug 2017
    • 372 Retweets
    • 1,017 Likes
    • A-Editing bernadethalde S_mendels@yahoo.com Kenneth Hughes Kanha john dowland (1563-1626) stan account Toni Lee Acevedo Travel Bee Vacations Lexus Roberts
    17 replies 372 retweets 1,017 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. J Wood‏ @mxyzplx 3 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        No joke: I have the same name as my great-grandfather, and AARP confused me for him when I was 16, got an honorary card. Used it at Perkins.

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. Matt‏ @BigotedVsBigots 3 Aug 2017
        Replying to @mxyzplx @TheOnion

        Welcome to the club. I get them all the time because of a similar name as my dad. Wonder if I'll get a 2nd membership discount.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. Zarmeena W‏ @zedubb 3 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The only organization that is still publishing pure truth. Even if it is sarcastically. #bravo

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Z end‏ @antichromium6 3 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        AARP should ask young people to sponsor old people that gave their resources to young people.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Zach Cowen‏ @cowen_zach 3 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @WColeMorris your time has come

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. 𝙹𝚎𝚗 𝙺𝚘𝚙𝚏‏ @jkopfLNP 3 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @jjpk

        I see you must have started getting the mailings, @jjpk

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. mahatab‏ @mahatab23120611 7 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        hi

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Emma‏ @Misty_Muse_ 3 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Shut up and take my money!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. B‏ @Bryan_Infiniti 3 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @EmceeGoCry

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Merriam  🇰🇳‏ @awebster1337 3 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Sign me tf up

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. John Abbott‏ @loungelizard77 3 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        While studying at the University of Westminster, I smoked marijuana with fellow study abroad students right in front of Shakespeare's house.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Janet‏ @ThumbsyJ 3 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Can you sign up my 25 y/o son?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. John Abbott‏ @loungelizard77 3 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        At Wauwatosa Psych. over a year ago, an assassin tried to kill me;He opted not to; he left sticky things on my me;2 nurses peed their pants!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. David Hawley‏ @DavidHawley2 3 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Can we get the old people discounts though?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Elon Musk 2.0  🇺🇸 🙏‏ @Joe_Kramer17 3 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Inb4 @realDonaldTrump finds the fake news.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Matt Hoffer‏ @mhfromhm 3 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @nihilist_arbys agrees

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. SuzyQ‏ @IAmSueSue2 3 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/s6HyqyYSwR

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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