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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 2 Aug 2017

    ACLU Representative Explains How Some Of Record-Breaking Fundraising Will Go Toward Defending Rights Of Weirdos To Have Sex With Treespic.twitter.com/hi243VQwrF

    9:14 AM - 2 Aug 2017
    • 102 Retweets
    • 333 Likes
    • 𝚌𝚍𝚢 𝚑𝚠𝚔𝚗𝚜 joy 12 days until nov 6 kudia 🧟‍♀️ caaaaaaaaaaaaaaate 🧟‍♀️ zach David Stanley I.A. Mad Hatter Vote November 6th Laurel Lavandulla💜⚪💚
    18 replies 102 retweets 333 likes
      1. Ana Elizondo‏ @anaelizondo70 2 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        As long as they have the tree's consent.

        0 replies 0 retweets 7 likes
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      1. ToriG0910‏ @ToriG0910 2 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @DouglasPuett

        Yep, & I'd like to petition to become a vegetable & I want the military to pay for my veggie change over. LMAO

        0 replies 1 retweet 1 like
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      1. New conversation
      2.  👻 🎃Enoch 🎃Scowl 🎃 👻‏ @htmlmencken 2 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        👏dont👏kinkshame👏lumberjackoffs👏

        1 reply 0 retweets 6 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. Rex Banner‏ @Inspectjavert 2 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Hey standing immobile means *no*

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Matt‏ @BigotedVsBigots 2 Aug 2017
        Replying to @Inspectjavert @TheOnion

        But if it's windy they are moving back and forth so what then?

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. Rex Banner‏ @Inspectjavert 2 Aug 2017
        Replying to @BigotedVsBigots @TheOnion

        No you have to have an affirmative voice consent so unless your fucking Grandmother Willow from Pocahontas you're hosed :D

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      5. Matt‏ @BigotedVsBigots 2 Aug 2017
        Replying to @Inspectjavert @TheOnion

        What about Treebeard?

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      6. Rex Banner‏ @Inspectjavert 2 Aug 2017
        Replying to @BigotedVsBigots @TheOnion

        What are you, Gay? :D

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      7. Matt‏ @BigotedVsBigots 2 Aug 2017
        Replying to @Inspectjavert @TheOnion

        You do know trees actually function as male and female right? haha You don't have a male tree to stick it to a female one.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      8. Rex Banner‏ @Inspectjavert 2 Aug 2017
        Replying to @BigotedVsBigots @TheOnion

        But aren't Ents and exception to that rule? If I remember correctly the female ents all vanished.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      9. Matt‏ @BigotedVsBigots 2 Aug 2017
        Replying to @Inspectjavert @TheOnion

        Dude, if you actually remember that much I will believe you. Because reading about grass in those books made me forget a lot.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      10. 2 more replies
      1. Dan Roosien‏ @droosien 2 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @benwizner

        Not very woke of the ACLU to kinkshame the dendrophile community as "weirdos".

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. New conversation
      2. Moses‏ @MosesDidItBest 2 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        You say that as if it's wrong to have sex with trees. The best thing is, trees can't file sexual harassment claims or testify against you.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. MinorOak Coworking‏ @MinorOak 2 Aug 2017
        Replying to @MosesDidItBest @TheOnion

        Is that a common problem for you?

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. gummi‏ @gumm82201333 3 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        yes i have tree condoms because love to hump nature and trees

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Nostradummarse‏ @nostradummarse 2 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Wood gives me wood.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Christine Brewster  🌼 🌸 🌻‏ @rachlarkin 2 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This is the funniest thing I've seen in a month. Thanks for the laugh!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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