This was written for @Freeyourmindkid 
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Actually mayo is one of the *least* processed food items on American grocer shelves. Simple, with few ingredients. Not ruining this for me.
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Yeah. Been a serious Onion reader for well over 2 decades.
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I Fucking LOVE Mayonnaise !!
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I keep mayonnaise in my goatee just in case of an emergency!! You never know when it will be needed!
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Guy looks like
@randyliedtkeThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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Especially when ripe home-grown tomato season is involved.
#homegrown#tomatoes#homemade#SouthernThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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"We realized, when having to express it in multiples of body weight, how horrifying this study truly is..."
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I love mayo.
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Who is paying for all of these peculiar studies?
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I'm 0. Not this year. Ever.
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Because mayo is foul
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