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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 19 Jul 2017

    Scientists Baffled By Man's Incredible Ability To Fuck Up Every Time http://trib.al/Sskpyo9 pic.twitter.com/cOXg9Sz02k

    8:26 PM - 19 Jul 2017
    • 528 Retweets
    • 1,481 Likes
    • Jen Ess reivid Alice Carter samantha williams go gina 🏄🏾‍♀️ Edward Said fan page Bruce Larson smoothie Izzy
    30 replies 528 retweets 1,481 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Humpty Trumpy  🌊‏ @TrumpsToDoList 19 Jul 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Wait, is this story about @realDonaldTrump?

        3 replies 0 retweets 8 likes
      3. NoWeWon't‏ @JustmeinNV 19 Jul 2017
        Replying to @TrumpsToDoList @TheOnion @realDonaldTrump

        It would certainly be a fitting title if it was.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. Mike G‏ @_mikegalt_ 19 Jul 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Stop subtweeting me

        0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
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      1. hannah‏ @hammamarie 19 Jul 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @ me next time

        0 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
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      1. Peter Rabitt‏ @P_Rabitt 19 Jul 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This a #PublicServiceAnnouncement reminding you to check your Fleshlight for ants before you use it. You don't want to know.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Tomi Choyce‏ @youbenoteworthy 19 Jul 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        “..each individual f—kup compounds itself exponentially, expanding in every conceivable direction til a situation is no longer salvageable.”

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Timothy Jenkins‏ @TimJenkins1962 20 Jul 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Wait a minute... I thought I was that guy.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Jack Cook‏ @JSCookJr 19 Jul 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        As I was welcoming and shaking The Onion reporter's hand, he smiled and pointed, "your cow is about to get out of your barn." Oops. Zip.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Rhonda R. Maddux‏ @RhondaRMaddux 19 Jul 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Who, TRUMP?

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. havoc sebastian‏ @havoc_sebastian 19 Jul 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        so there's more than one of us 😆

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. sleeper__agent‏ @DeificNihilist 19 Jul 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        How did you guys get my medical records?

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. LIL KEV FROM 107TH‏ @KM_TheKing 19 Jul 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheKatiePeck

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
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