Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 16 Jul 2017

    Everyone In Improv Troupe Balding http://trib.al/yAOawVR pic.twitter.com/aU9VexHWGu

    1:25 PM - 16 Jul 2017
    • 261 Retweets
    • 1,479 Likes
    • Timothy O'Connell wet bandit fangirl Taiowa Waner ally marshall syed Tina Sparkle Tasteful Porn Stache GARFIELD_TRUTH CK
    19 replies 261 retweets 1,479 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. NICHOLAS MEGALIS‏Verified account @nicholasmegalis 16 Jul 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @hitchmichael

        This. Is. REMARKABLE!

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. Michael Hitchcock‏Verified account @hitchmichael 16 Jul 2017
        Replying to @nicholasmegalis @TheOnion

        You're remarkable.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      4. NICHOLAS MEGALIS‏Verified account @nicholasmegalis 17 Jul 2017
        Replying to @hitchmichael @TheOnion

        ...*remarkably bad.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      5. End of conversation
      1. chari bari ruchi‏ @CornerPoor 18 Jul 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @robbirobsta

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Christian Biseinere‏ @CBiseinere 17 Jul 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @Black_myst66

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Ɛvan ßOOlund  👻♚ 💀‏ @Blackmyst66 17 Jul 2017
        Replying to @CBiseinere @TheOnion

        Oh no

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. Daniel Shelden‏ @Stormraige23_HS 16 Jul 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @ComedyProject uh oh...

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Peter Rabitt‏ @P_Rabitt 16 Jul 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Peter Rabitt Retweeted Peter Rabitt

        https://twitter.com/P_Rabitt/status/886687060182138880 …

        Peter Rabitt added,

        Peter Rabitt @P_Rabitt
        @TheOnion Overweight bodybuilder considering whether he should just stick a cow up his ass. pic.twitter.com/g11vM8uVzR
        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. 2Jayz‏ @stockaflocka23 16 Jul 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @sashastock

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. thorbjørn harr‏ @herrharr 16 Jul 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @RebeccaNorthan - love this

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Squeezefan2‏ @squeezefan2 16 Jul 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @truTVjokers cough-cough*

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Pauly D Gilfoyle‏ @PaulyPavillain 16 Jul 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Honekys.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. brian bell‏ @brianbell18 16 Jul 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Every so often you guys just kill it.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Dan‏ @danfjohnson 16 Jul 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Low, but true. Did you have to use @MattBesser ?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Travis Wrightsman‏ @twrightsman 16 Jul 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheParkerman

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Alex Parker‏ @TheParkerman 16 Jul 2017
        Replying to @twrightsman @TheOnion

        I didn't realize you were in an improv troupe

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. End of conversation

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info