Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 7 Jul 2017

    Scientists Trace Heat Wave To Massive Star At Center Of Solar System http://trib.al/WPLDmmo pic.twitter.com/DNRRsHcFnC

    9:43 AM - 7 Jul 2017
    • 874 Retweets
    • 2,150 Likes
    • SLR Stuff VelonnCatt Rainbow Divers Wayne Chisnall Scala PLOW Heath Garrard W H I T LIGHTWORKER Rick Mc
    40 replies 874 retweets 2,150 likes
      1. Randy Bazan‏ @BazanRandy 7 Jul 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        If this is true, then the ramifications are enormous.

        0 replies 0 retweets 9 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Jimbo‏ @JimmyJo2A 8 Jul 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @Daddy_Warpig

        What's next, di-hydrogen monoxide in a bottle?!?!

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Daddy Warpig‏ @Daddy_Warpig 8 Jul 2017
        Replying to @JimmyJo2A @TheOnion

        Daddy Warpig Retweeted

        Eye-dropper. https://twitter.com/CalIigraphy/status/881223598329012224 …

        Daddy Warpig added,

        This Tweet is unavailable.
        0 replies 1 retweet 2 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Name = 'Prophet Of Kek'‏ @p_o_k_1 7 Jul 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @CNN you should report on this ☝🏻

        2 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Me, an intellectual‏ @asshatgamer 7 Jul 2017
        Replying to @p_o_k_1 @TheOnion @CNN

        "An anonymous report confirms that Russian hackers were responsible for the heat wave in an attempt to influence American discomfort."

        0 replies 2 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. Lloyd dennison‏ @lloyd_dennison 7 Jul 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Hilarious 😂😂😂pic.twitter.com/w9FjexWzEv

        0 replies 1 retweet 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Jersey‏ @SatansTongue 7 Jul 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        If you like the onion, you might like this page :) @yewnorktimes

        0 replies 1 retweet 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. jim hanna‏ @jimhanna711 7 Jul 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The sun is my favorite star

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Sanju‏ @Only1_Sanjeev 7 Jul 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        It works only for half of the day... Remaining half it refuels.. May be gasoline

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Taranormal Activity‏ @Tarasauruswreck 7 Jul 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        BLOW IT UP!!! IT'S TRYING TO HELP THE LIBERAL AGENDA!!!

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Dave Langille‏ @cdnusboy 7 Jul 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Solar Warming?

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. David Hawley‏ @DavidHawley2 7 Jul 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Do we really know that that's not God?

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. William Vasquez‏ @bbeevee 7 Jul 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I thought it revolved around us?!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Michael Henry‏ @michenry013 7 Jul 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This seems too logical...I refuse to believe logic! Give me back man-made climate change!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. J Tann‏ @BoscoTann 7 Jul 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @almurray

        It took me almost a second to realise. I feel dumber.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Arnoldo_Fayne‏ @Arnoldo_Fayne 7 Jul 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Don't panic, the government has a solution for this problem.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Carolyn Bailey‏ @Carobailey864 8 Jul 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @EdnaBateman

        Ok Edna. Nobody gets this is parody. Damn

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Edña Bateman‏ @EdnaBateman 8 Jul 2017
        Replying to @Carobailey864 @TheOnion

        😂🌞

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. Dennis Lafontaine‏ @dennis28879953 9 Jul 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Very grateful for the explanation. Now I can at least sleep at night.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info