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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 6 Jul 2017

    Report: 750,000 Americans Die Each Year During First Attempt To Get Back In Shape http://trib.al/KkPRO7k pic.twitter.com/PmHRKF1iBX

    7:57 AM - 6 Jul 2017
    • 389 Retweets
    • 1,180 Likes
    • Charlotte Salomon ben power TERESA 🌊🇺🇸🌊🇺🇸🌊🇺🇸🌊 Ruben Vega Joanna Paterson Jason Savin phish100 vasily Diego Jacinto
    15 replies 389 retweets 1,180 likes
      1. David Hawley‏ @DavidHawley2 6 Jul 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Some of the jogging trails in my hometown are littered with corpses. It's disgusting.

        0 replies 1 retweet 7 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Ana Elizondo‏ @anaelizondo70 6 Jul 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Why take the risk?

        2 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
      3. Ruben Vega‏ @rubenvega1941 6 Dec 2017
        Replying to @anaelizondo70 @TheOnion

        Ease into to health by walking!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. D. C. Washington‏ @Dcwash1 6 Jul 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @SuaveElefante

        Guess I am selling my recently repaired treadmill!

        2 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. Daniel Koklauner‏ @SuaveElefante 6 Jul 2017
        Replying to @Dcwash1 @TheOnion

        *Gulp*

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. lets talk about mental health  🇿🇼‏ @tinogwitima 6 Jul 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        that's the s#!£ they don't tell you... Death by weight loss...

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. Ruben Vega‏ @rubenvega1941 6 Dec 2017
        Replying to @tinogwitima @TheOnion

        I thought that everybody knew that! I finally caught on myself when I realized that the only people exercising were young people priming themselves for sexual encounters!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Tony D‏ @biff725 6 Jul 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Mountain Bike, Elliptical Machine, Solid.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Ruben Vega‏ @rubenvega1941 6 Dec 2017
        Replying to @biff725 @TheOnion

        It’s easy for you to say, because you haven’t died yet!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Amanda ❁‏ @amanda_cattt 6 Jul 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @alexis_jank @laur_eff_ we should stop

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Ruben Vega‏ @rubenvega1941 6 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @kajones230

        Of course! Americans disdain towards garlic consumption isn’t helpful neither!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Chris Anstey‏ @Gonutshfx 6 Jul 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        they should have run raise awareness

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Johnny Toobad‏ @poppa1138 6 Jul 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        How many die at the second attempt? "If at first you don't succeed"

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Maz‏ @Musimaz 6 Jul 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        It's an epidemic

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Deixar-pra là jusqu'à la mort クポ❢ | EdJay‏ @Tarcil 6 Jul 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        😦😧😧😐😯😯😬🙊🙈🙉😰😢😢

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Collin with a beer‏ @PaleMichaelCera 6 Jul 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @ILikeBigGutts And one sweaty just gets sassy

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. It's Mark‏ @M2McAdo 6 Jul 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        We should ban sneakers.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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