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The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 24 Jun 2017

    Sessions Drops Pile Of Weapons In Prison Yard Before Ordering Inmates To Reduce Overcrowding By 30% http://trib.al/2iiiIFh pic.twitter.com/hId4eY2j9q

    8:59 PM - 24 Jun 2017
    • 434 Retweets
    • 1,337 Likes
    • 🕵 Chris Markunas🌹 orneryoldgeezer 🥒Locally Grown Cucumber🥒 #Unity4J Jim OldCrow🔹🌽 CHRIS FOR TRUMP⭐⭐⭐ Myles Benyon Evan Rodgers Evan Oudekerk
    23 replies 434 retweets 1,337 likes
      1. Taylor Collier‏ @TheBittenOnion 24 Jun 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        "I don't recall that..." --Jeff Sessions

        0 replies 0 retweets 19 likes
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      1. gay frog‏ @elprofed 24 Jun 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This is the funniest thing I've seen all day thank you

        0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
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      1. ȚÖÐĎ  🏳️‍🌈‏ @toddadam 24 Jun 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This would be funnier if we weren't so frighteningly close to having #ThePurge.

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
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      1. Madame Minty‏ @SneWhite 25 Jun 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        You're supposed to be satire, not an actual news speculations.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Fin Kelly‏ @The_big_fizzy 24 Jun 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This is so real it hurts

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. T.J. Phillips‏ @108Stitches_53 24 Jun 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        If you laugh at this, will you have to do time in that prison yard?

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Colette (C.L.R.)‏ @CatholicGirl15 24 Jun 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Sad that although this is hilarious we could actually see Sessions doing something like that. That part not so funny.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Christine E‏ @ChristineMarieB 24 Jun 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        .@TheOnion Sessions, inspired by the movie 'Dodgeball', told inmates to quickly memorize the 5 D's of dodging tools & weaponspic.twitter.com/buzF9ZOx82

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. M. Belliveau‏ @mbelliveau1970 24 Jun 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        That would be a record breaking pay per view event !!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1.  ❄Semantha Tackett ❄‏ @Batty4Life 24 Jun 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        They like to keep their guns so they'll take away #healthcare instead😒

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Back Atcha Slick‏ @backatchaslick 25 Jun 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Hmmmmmm funny? Clever? You USUALLY are....so let's not go here as humorous. Sigh

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. J Allen‏ @The_JJAllen 25 Jun 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        It'd be more accurate if he dropped them near white inmates and glance toward the non-whites when talking about reducing the population.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Jon Wesley‏ @TheMooPz 25 Jun 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This would be funnier if he wasn't trying to stuff as many people back into prisons. Sad!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. FluorideKills‏ @ChristosCosta1 25 Jun 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Satire about Sessions but the truth about Holder.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Soop Munkey‏ @soopmunkey 25 Jun 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Catch the whole season on SPIKE TV!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Tracy Hannum-Brown‏ @HannumBrown 25 Jun 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        PAY ATTENTION AMERICA HE IS GETTING RID OF ALL LAWS THAT PROTECT US! PROBABLE CAUSE GONE NO WARRANT TO SEARCH GONE! WEED FED CRIME! TRADER

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Morgan Ray Hess‏ @MorganRayHess 25 Jun 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        In case anyone was wondering whether or not the Onion sympathizes with the American right whatsoever at this point.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Jack Cymet‏ @Jack_Cymet 24 Jun 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Like Dark Nights Joker: "We're going to have try-outs"

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Carson Ray Martin‏ @toilntrouble 24 Jun 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Jesus

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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