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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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@TheOnion

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 20 Jun 2017

    Meat Industry Introduces New Easy-Tear Perforated Beef http://trib.al/Jo2uAiX pic.twitter.com/SHf5Wh00Tl

    4:18 PM - 20 Jun 2017
    • 413 Retweets
    • 2,092 Likes
    • Annie Apple Cider🎃 βαχχις Melody Blue i_amJeremy jazzy jess Rob Diaz Belfear A T T A C C OldCrow🔹🌽
    21 replies 413 retweets 2,092 likes
      1. Gary Schuh‏ @MotleySchuh 20 Jun 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Select-a-size isn't just for paper towels anymore!

        0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
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      1. Fordinator‏ @go2aford 20 Jun 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Snap-A-Steak!

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Tasha Haines‏ @tashawrites 20 Jun 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @NiamhMacCabe

        Watch out for the cows that fall into hundreds of ready to eat pieces. #vegetarianismrules

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Niamh MacCabe‏ @NiamhMacCabe 20 Jun 2017
        Replying to @tashawrites @TheOnion

        Kwik-E-Meat

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. HisCarlness‏ @HisRoyalCarlnes 20 Jun 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Not actually a completely horrible idea... Unnecessary, but not impossible to imagine as a product.

        2 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2.  👻 Scarecrowe  🎃‏ @doctorcrowe 20 Jun 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        "Something something liberal cucks can't even rely on their incisors anymore!"

        1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. GarronJosephJohnson‏ @garron_joseph 20 Jun 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        We are all laughing but deep down, we want this. Except you, vegans!

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Lauren‏ @lauren_cap 20 Jun 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @rafaelavegadelc

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Sarina‏ @SarinaNyannyan 20 Jun 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Just buy a quality knife set and learn how to sharpen them regularly.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Kin‏ @ryuu_hyakukin 20 Jun 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I don't think it's possible for fresh meat:-(

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Boing‏ @Mwando12 20 Jun 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        About time!!!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Cenosillicaphobia‏ @kh_nc1 20 Jun 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Shut up and take my money!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Robbie Mac‏ @sonoranmtb 20 Jun 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Slickest thing since sliced bread.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Ryan Zinck‏ @Ryan_Zinck 20 Jun 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Next up: Smaller conical tops for your ketchup for decorative hotdogs and such.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Skip Chipowski‏ @Skipowski 20 Jun 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Snowflake friendly lunchables #ZeroTolerance

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Paul Percopolis‏ @PaulPercopolis 21 Jun 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Do the holes turn into hamburger

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. liliana  🌿‏ @liliaceaeflora 21 Jun 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @down_to_clown_

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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