Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 20 Jun 2017

    Panicking Mitch McConnell Shoves Entire Senate Healthcare Bill Into Mouth As Democrat Walks Past http://trib.al/c7rQXUn pic.twitter.com/W2RjP3FOxK

    10:03 AM - 20 Jun 2017
    • 25,623 Retweets
    • 59,316 Likes
    • Xsdf24 Lucy Jimenez Garcia Somebody special calls me Nanny Resists K Hayley Russo Jade T'Charlles Dalton Marshall Mark Bechtold
    614 replies 25,623 retweets 59,316 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 20 Jun 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Sources reported that @SenateMajLdr's cheeks distended to many times their original size. http://trib.al/KiftEbk pic.twitter.com/W3tsSlJOsj

        17 replies 308 retweets 866 likes
      3. Steve‏ @rocketstig 20 Jun 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @senatemajldr

        Thankfully he doesn't have a chin to get in the way. #snappingturtle

        0 replies 3 retweets 24 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Headshot‏ @HeadshotTweets 20 Jun 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @JBomb11

        pic.twitter.com/VFnWmECvQP

        10 replies 42 retweets 257 likes
      3. Tweet unavailable
      4. Headshot‏ @HeadshotTweets 20 Jun 2017
        Replying to @Rachelle_Kr @TheOnion @JBomb11

        We must go deeper...pic.twitter.com/70xKAWmNpW

        5 replies 52 retweets 244 likes
      5. Jenna Mullins‏Verified account @JBomb11 20 Jun 2017
        Replying to @HeadshotTweets @Rachelle_Kr @TheOnion

        CHRIST. I don't think PTSD is covered by the GOP healthcare bill so this needs to STOP.

        7 replies 9 retweets 116 likes
      6. Headshot‏ @HeadshotTweets 20 Jun 2017
        Replying to @JBomb11 @Rachelle_Kr @TheOnion

        Like.... This isn't even the worst one... Jesus how many memes can I find?.. #nopetrainpic.twitter.com/piCbWnmAeb

        5 replies 22 retweets 120 likes
      7. Jenna Mullins‏Verified account @JBomb11 20 Jun 2017
        Replying to @HeadshotTweets @Rachelle_Kr @TheOnion

        LOL i like to believe Paul Ryan is behind all these. He's up late making them each night.

        3 replies 4 retweets 44 likes
      8. Headshot‏ @HeadshotTweets 20 Jun 2017
        Replying to @JBomb11 @Rachelle_Kr @TheOnion

        Like. Why even is this? 😂😂😂pic.twitter.com/jUo0IbQJap

        4 replies 6 retweets 62 likes
      9. Jenna Mullins‏Verified account @JBomb11 20 Jun 2017
        Replying to @HeadshotTweets @Rachelle_Kr @TheOnion

        To be fair, Mitch McConnell is creepy looking without Photoshop so any additions to his face will automatically be horrifying.

        7 replies 8 retweets 111 likes
      10. 4 more replies
      1. New conversation
      2. SusanfromNY 🍻 🍻 🍻 🍺‏ @susanpag65 20 Jun 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @ProfCiara

        Bet he couldn't fit Obamacare in his mouth like Pelosi!

        12 replies 2 retweets 5 likes
      3. Andy and Jalad at Tanagra‏ @Aestro 20 Jun 2017
        Replying to @susanpag65 @TheOnion @ProfCiara

        She didn't need to. They debated it openly and in committee for nearly a year.

        4 replies 9 retweets 219 likes
      4. P.E. Thomas‏ @ScaryKlown 20 Jun 2017
        Replying to @Aestro @susanpag65 and

        The Onion tweet went right over her head.

        4 replies 3 retweets 116 likes
      5. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. Linda Rothwell. #GlovesOff‏ @Bornabrit1 20 Jun 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Well he's got enough THROAT to handle it..

        4 replies 1 retweet 43 likes
      3. Kevin Patrick‏ @kpmel 20 Jun 2017
        Replying to @Bornabrit1 @TheOnion

        Ha! You nailed it! Best line I've seen on Twitter machine today!

        1 reply 0 retweets 8 likes
      4. Linda Rothwell. #GlovesOff‏ @Bornabrit1 20 Jun 2017
        Replying to @kpmel @TheOnion

        Lol..

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      5. Kevin Patrick‏ @kpmel 20 Jun 2017
        Replying to @Bornabrit1 @TheOnion

        Keep up the good work. I'm watching you. Not literally but you know what I mean.

        1 reply 1 retweet 8 likes
      6. Kevin Patrick‏ @kpmel 20 Jun 2017
        Replying to @kpmel @Bornabrit1 @TheOnion

        Oh, now you're watching me! I'm all self conscious and my hair is a mess.

        0 replies 1 retweet 16 likes
      7. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. N Miner‏ @MinerNils 20 Jun 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Ahhhhhhhahahahaa ROFLMFAO 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 They should ask him a question he has to answer... 😨😨😨😨😨😨😨

        1 reply 2 retweets 7 likes
      3. N Miner‏ @MinerNils 20 Jun 2017
        Replying to @MinerNils @TheOnion

        I CAN'T BELIEVE HE ATE THE WHOLE BILL... Does this mean it's going to be restricted until it comes out the other end as a SHIT STORM!!pic.twitter.com/FDNFKm9wy8

        0 replies 10 retweets 36 likes
      4. End of conversation

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info