Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 16 Jun 2017

    Concert Security Drastically Overestimating Fans’ Desire To Get Close To Cheap Trick http://trib.al/LtVnUsA pic.twitter.com/xf9hO2Fu8V

    6:56 PM - 16 Jun 2017
    • 162 Retweets
    • 826 Likes
    • 👻 well-boo-trin haver 👻 Post Gay Rachel Marsh Maggie Gilbert Chris Grant Sam from the internet huge thighs miqote black mage 𝕯𝖔𝖓'𝖙 𝕭𝖑𝖆𝖒𝖊 𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝕮𝖔𝖋𝖋𝖊𝖊 ☕️ James Derk
    11 replies 162 retweets 826 likes
      1.  🦇 💀Die-ana  ☠️ 🎃‏ @ollynlola 16 Jun 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        They want us to want them.

        0 replies 1 retweet 4 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Christine E‏ @ChristineMarieB 16 Jun 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        .@TheOnion These things happen when you hire the 'Dream Police' for security. Their dream job duties can have many interpretations.

        0 replies 1 retweet 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Elise Riccio‏ @elise_riccio 16 Jun 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Lol! Omg lol.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Raoul Dork‏ @RaoulDork 16 Jun 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Cheap Trick is on tour? Haven't they killed enough people?

        0 replies 1 retweet 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Jon Macdonald‏ @JonMacdonald63 16 Jun 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Funny! Still enjoy their music on occasion.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. 2 more replies
      1. Cole O'Shaughnessy‏ @SaltyIrishman 20 Jun 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The best thing about my retweet of your article is that Cheap Trick is all over my feed now, despite muting them

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Tim Banzhof‏ @timbanzhof 17 Jun 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        That is funny!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Tony D‏ @biff725 16 Jun 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        You've obviously never seen them.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. 𝙞𝙢 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙭 𝙗𝙤𝙭‏ @calzonejomes 16 Jun 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        i really want to make a jojo reference here but i am not clever enough nor desperate enough to follow through with it

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. eirroC muaB‏ @chapstickaddict 16 Jun 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Around Y2K, one of these guys literally dragged me out of a show at the NYStateFair by my neck, for tryna get too close to Def Leppard.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. eirroC muaB‏ @chapstickaddict 16 Jun 2017
        Replying to @chapstickaddict @TheOnion

        Dude was a total meathead brute & threw me in an actual police car. Cops let me go about a mile down the road & I ran back to concert. LOL

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. eirroC muaB‏ @chapstickaddict 16 Jun 2017
        Replying to @chapstickaddict @TheOnion

        (Worth noting there was a $5 bet that I couldn't get on stage. I'm not one to a bet! The "snag" happened just as Joe Elliott waved to me.)

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. Panorama Taxi‏ @Ro32504393 16 Jun 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Those weren't concert security, those were the dream police.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info