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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 3 May 2017

    Scientists Discover Mollusks Are Next Evolutionary Stage For Humans http://trib.al/6FFgwFQ pic.twitter.com/yoYqTthZVn

    5:44 PM - 3 May 2017
    • 212 Retweets
    • 768 Likes
    • Jo Hanna allan w massey 💚 Chef Lore 🔥🍳 Saeiqa IFB Pierre-Simon Laplace Norman Tucker Jordan Thill Secret _Destroyer Tim Morgan
    31 replies 212 retweets 768 likes
      1. Andolsa (Annie) Arevalo‏ @andolsarevalo 3 May 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        monkeys therefore mollusks I love this game

        0 replies 1 retweet 1 like
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      1. relatable‏ @thekkksucks 3 May 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Finally

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. justin‏ @JustinKompanik 4 May 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @420dongsquad420 take the first step

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. http://skeleton.bone‏ @EatWorkSleepDie 3 May 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The future is bright. Well, technically it's dark in the briny abyss but you get the idea.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Kevin Ramjattan‏ @kevink2912 3 May 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @bauervanstraten

        The devil is a lie

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Gita Levet‏ @scone_gal 3 May 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @tamarasharf @ Seth

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. New conversation
      2. Porg Wear Nike!‏ @porgstein 3 May 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @Wydady40

        Do mollusks get universal healthcare?

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Refu-GOP‏ @Wydady40 3 May 2017
        Replying to @porgstein @TheOnion

        I don't know, but I'd sooner trust the mollusks to vote on it than the House.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. Lisa Berry‏ @ru2jaded 4 May 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        At least we have something to look forward to 🤗🤗🤗

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Wargasm‏ @slipstream8821 4 May 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        That vagina is scary.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. JSP‏ @JessePlester 3 May 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Once we give birth to A.I. we will finally be able to transend to our final form. (literally the dumbest fucking thing in the ocean lol)

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Nyna‏ @nynatoney 3 May 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        How do you kill it with fire if it lives in the ocean?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Tommie Duncan‏ @TJRDBKK 3 May 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Already there

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Sufi‏ @SufiSoof 3 May 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Are scientists saying humans are already done with the vulture stage of their evolution? Doubtful I say!Show me evidence, that's what I say!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1.  🎃Scary Gary 🎃‏ @GaryLikesDogs 3 May 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        yknow what i didnt see that this was the onion at first and i was totally like "makes sense"

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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