Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 30 Apr 2017

    Metallica Board Of Directors Debates Whether New Riff Will Have Negative Impact On Shareholder Value http://trib.al/ni3DJll pic.twitter.com/sMHnPrMjN9

    6:13 AM - 30 Apr 2017
    • 1,009 Retweets
    • 2,393 Likes
    • BIG T LuvToyz.com Envyyous 🛫 🔜 Twitchcon Rain B☮jangles &: {) 🇱🇸  🇵🇸 💀ty dye💀 Sgt Pinback Ignacio Ibarra D. Paul Francis Wilkie Kartyk
    32 replies 1,009 retweets 2,393 likes
      1. Obi-Wan Kenobi‏ @SirBenKenobi 30 Apr 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This is a little too close to the truth.

        0 replies 0 retweets 12 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Nelson Zaccagnino‏ @nelsonzacc 30 Apr 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Sad but true

        1 reply 0 retweets 16 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Dr Whom‏ @chapel3929 30 Apr 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Sorry if this response is too edgy, too metal, but DANG

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. @wolftrainer09‏ @wolftrainer09 30 Apr 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I get this is a satirical article, but Metallica is the WWE version of aged out head bangers, and my grandma loves it

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. 3lo  🏴‏ @SATANlSlM 30 Apr 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        it will

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. James Preston‏ @jamesprestonza 3 May 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @JohnElliscoza

        JOHN ELLIS ON TWITTER AGAIN!!? Yes man!!! 😜💪

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. jvh‏ @jamesy_vh 2 May 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @ja_sylvester triggered

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Kenneth Prexorcist‏ @fromnecessity 30 Apr 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @cholomala

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. kör saatçi‏ @sokratestorunu 30 Apr 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @RosaLMx41

        Türk kahvesi mı onlar?

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Duane Allen‏ @all_duane 30 Apr 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @DerekPaulScott HAHAHAHA

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Stuart Clarke‏ @StuartClarkeUK 30 Apr 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @gupta_james

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Tha Specialist‏ @z_s_o_r_o 11 Jun 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        You have to pre-register with your email address in order to enter the mosh pits now.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Jared Paul‏ @JaredPaulLive 2 May 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @cars_and_trains

        hahahhahaa

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Zeratul‏ @SuperHydralisk 30 Apr 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @BoingBoing

        If they go with the New Riff, I will sell all of my 400,000 shares. This reeks of Napster & Ulrich influence. BearShare forever.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info