everyone who tries to get water from the dispenser in your fridge 
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The dispenser manufacturer issued a press release that read "We'll dispense sanitizer in whatever direction we fucking please."
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When asked for clarification, the manufacturer's PR spokesman added "Fuck that fuckball and his ugly fucking sweatshirt."
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I thought you weren't supposed to mention it when that happens, to spare feelings..
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actually you're supposed to assure me it happens to everyone from time to time
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Haha!
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@MitchellChetski@thegoldenwest the picture hahahaha - 1 more reply
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What the soap dispenser does is Nobody's Business


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I literally just had this same issue about a week ago!! It hit my forearm and splashed up on my glasses. damn thing!
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New bathroom hand dryers flying off the wall. Miniature jet engines blamed.
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My eyes! My eyes!
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Much like a misguided morning pee.
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