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The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 23 Apr 2017

    Melania Idly Wonders If She Would Get Heads-Up About Nuclear Missile Headed Toward New York http://trib.al/ujTJGmA pic.twitter.com/MkmdfyasOg

    11:11 AM - 23 Apr 2017
    • 569 Retweets
    • 2,052 Likes
    • Stephen Simmons - Magician my name is brian Joey Childress Yumi OldCrow🔹🌽 Ashley Fortenberry CHDIR A:\GAME William McClenathan Pierre-Simon Laplace
    42 replies 569 retweets 2,052 likes
      1. Jamie Pastore‏ @jamiepastore 23 Apr 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        bruuuuuuuutal

        0 replies 2 retweets 7 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Don Quixote de Kaw‏ @DonQuixotedeKaw 23 Apr 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I'd bet nutcase in chief would think; "*shrug* It's cheaper than a divorce."

        1 reply 1 retweet 12 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Sal‏ @fookat 23 Apr 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @Glinner

        That's the expression you get when you have seen the things she has seen, i.e. naked Trump

        0 replies 1 retweet 7 likes
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      1. Gary Semro‏ @GarySemro1 23 Apr 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The Pouting Slovenian First Prostitute Is TOAST! 70 Yr. Old Psychotic Orange Groper In Chief Always Has Daddy'sLittle Girl To Keep Him Warm!

        0 replies 1 retweet 3 likes
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      1. Lisa isack‏ @lisa_isack 23 Apr 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Is she over botoxed all the time or just unhappy?

        0 replies 1 retweet 3 likes
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      1. Rob Z Tobor‏ @Rob_Z_Tobor 23 Apr 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Those eyes look like they want to be somewhere different . . . Maybe a different head.

        0 replies 1 retweet 4 likes
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      1. Bo Hennessy‏ @BoHennessy1 23 Apr 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Does he not have a closet full of Russian-esque brides just waiting to replace her?

        0 replies 1 retweet 3 likes
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      1. Azeem‏ @Azeem_the_dream 23 Apr 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Haha

        0 replies 1 retweet 3 likes
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      1. Sharon‏ @sharon_sstokes 23 Apr 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @MrJonCryer

        Based on how he's treated her (the few times they've been in the same city) ummmmmmmmmmmm....no.

        0 replies 1 retweet 2 likes
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      1. Sufi‏ @SufiSoof 23 Apr 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Don't count on it Melania! Danny Boy's been ready 4 the 4th one 4 quite a while & what's better than nuclear war 2 avoid alimony?

        0 replies 1 retweet 2 likes
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      1. Devron Minion‏ @MinionDevron 23 Apr 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Why did she plagiarize Michele obama's speak 4 the Easter egg hunt😳.Him and her are the lowest ,classless first family ever 😂🇺🇸

        0 replies 1 retweet 2 likes
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      1. Melin 777  🐾‏ @Gr8Melin 23 Apr 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        ...Melanie idly wonders what life would've been like if she hadn't sold herself to Satan & stayed in (somethin-somethin)-STAN.

        0 replies 1 retweet 1 like
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      1. Bones‏ @Ic206Bones 23 Apr 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Does Slump Tower have insurance? If she has 2 wonder, she might want 2 reread prenup💙

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. larryleclair‏ @larryleclair 23 Apr 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        She's been asking around lately if you piss Botox are you using too much? Claims to be asking for a friend.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. David‏ @Spikeyorks 23 Apr 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        "It's not my fault" said Melania answering questions on any subject. "I was only following orders".

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Guuberre‏ @Guuberre 24 Apr 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Thousand-yard stare

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Steve Emerson‏ @Samurai100469 23 Apr 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I'm sure he would remember to hashtag her, while he tweeted about the incoming warhead the failing New York Times did not predict!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. David Hawley‏ @DavidHawley2 23 Apr 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        How much life insurance has he got on you?

        0 replies 1 retweet 0 likes
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      1. Niall O'Leary‏ @bopsichord 23 Apr 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @Glinner

        Reminds me of Henry Fonda's dilemma in Failsafe, except the Orange Turd can hardly compare to any incarnation of Henry Fonda.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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