Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 22 Apr 2017

    Report: It's Not Okay To Just Start Talking To People You Don’t Know http://trib.al/V5REkO3 pic.twitter.com/r4tC0aQHSu

    6:45 PM - 22 Apr 2017
    • 996 Retweets
    • 2,566 Likes
    • Slackaholic Jennifer Solorio Damien Fahey Anthony Giorgio bg Lauren 🐱 Leisyka Lee Gavin Hatfield m. yasir candan
    58 replies 996 retweets 2,566 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Johanna‏ @ThenJoSaid 22 Apr 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I find it's not talking to strangers on buses that makes them uncomfortable, it's when I sit behind them & brush their hair that does it.

        12 replies 30 retweets 305 likes
      3. Dustin Archibald‏ @DCArchibald 22 Apr 2017
        Replying to @ThenJoSaid @TheOnion

        Try sniffing it first to get past the awkward stage.

        1 reply 0 retweets 15 likes
      4. Johanna‏ @ThenJoSaid 22 Apr 2017
        Replying to @DCArchibald @TheOnion

        Noted. 👍

        0 replies 0 retweets 7 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. Kailey Bennett‏ @whaleerules88 22 Apr 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This rule does not apply in the south.

        0 replies 1 retweet 16 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Stacey Ewell‏ @staceewell 22 Apr 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I don't even like to talk to people I know.

        0 replies 0 retweets 19 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Ms Fisher‏ @Iwillnotfall 22 Apr 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Actually, it's ok in the South. A woman today said "Where do I know you from?" and I said "You probably have me confused with Julia Roberts"

        0 replies 0 retweets 19 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Mike Rosenberg‏Verified account @ByRosenberg 22 Apr 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/4hyhkvkuyJ

        0 replies 0 retweets 7 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Paige Taylor‏ @paigeetaylor4 22 Apr 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Unless you're from Texas... 😄

        0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Jane Bigly‏ @JaneBigly 22 Apr 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I do it all the time, love it!

        0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Joe Schwarten‏ @joeschwarten 22 Apr 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I thought you were a satirical news site. This is actually legit!

        0 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Chris Cain‏ @cainwtp 22 Apr 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        #fakenews

        0 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Kerrie McNeal‏ @KAMSocial 22 Apr 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        it is in the South!

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. DWalther‏ @oligohome 22 Apr 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        You've never been to NY, have you.

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. J Patrick‏ @juergenpatrick 22 Apr 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Obviously the writer has never been to Costa Rica.

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. 1mpaler (6-1)‏ @1mpaler 22 Apr 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        You are doing it right now...

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. SLM‏ @ZiangNong 22 Apr 2017
        Replying to @1mpaler @TheOnion

        😂You win this thread of comments. 🗣👤

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. mamofjackular‏ @mamofjackular 23 Apr 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @Fred_Willard

        We must be so weird in the UK (well in the north east) I must speak to like 700 strangers every day when I'm out with the dogs lol 🐶

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Sharon Thoma‏ @sharon6248 22 Apr 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Will someone please tell my mother this?!

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Linda Tucker‏ @LindaTuckerHC 22 Apr 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @Coco__Ono @wtucker138 I disagree! 😂😂😂

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Terry Tari‏ @TerrytariTari 22 Apr 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        You can start talking and if the other person don't respond just leave them alone!

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. Terry Tari‏ @TerrytariTari 23 Apr 2017
        Replying to @TerrytariTari @TheOnion

        They look like the average married couple!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. End of conversation

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info