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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 29 Mar 2017

    Infant Child Left In Sweet Camaro http://trib.al/QIdvz1M pic.twitter.com/Vh4DK1GHQM

    9:10 PM - 29 Mar 2017
    • 371 Retweets
    • 1,297 Likes
    • Thomas Hill bet B. Shawn IDC Koh Tao Anthony Zazueta Jake S.T.M Алёна Воронцова
    22 replies 371 retweets 1,297 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Petey Isom‏ @PeteyIsom 29 Mar 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        rescuers would have gotten the child out sooner except for not wanting to break the sweetly tinted windows. A lock smith with

        1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes
      3. Petey Isom‏ @PeteyIsom 29 Mar 2017
        Replying to @PeteyIsom @TheOnion

        surgeon like skills was found only 30 minutes away. This allowed the rescuers to get out of the heat for refreshments while

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. Petey Isom‏ @PeteyIsom 29 Mar 2017
        Replying to @PeteyIsom @TheOnion

        they discussed the potential predicament the car was in. Truly disturbing was the potential dip in resale value if, you know...

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. LightFall‏ @crimsonfilliu 29 Mar 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        that is a sweet camaro

        0 replies 0 retweets 19 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
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      1. New conversation
      2. Kappa-Chino‏ @KreamyKappa 29 Mar 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        read it as "Instant Child"

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. hannibal leccter‏ @Electrodium 30 Mar 2017
        Replying to @KreamyKappa @TheOnion

        Microwave for 30 seconds, stir until creamy

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. Jeremy Wilson‏ @wilson_jeremy15 30 Mar 2017
        Replying to @Electrodium @KreamyKappa @TheOnion

        As a college student I would love to thank instant child for a great meal at a great price

        1 reply 1 retweet 1 like
      5. hannibal leccter‏ @Electrodium 31 Mar 2017
        Replying to @wilson_jeremy15 @KreamyKappa @TheOnion

        step up yo game @Pot_Noodle

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      6. End of conversation
      1. Bill Brauner‏ @JerseyBill17 30 Mar 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        #deadmilkmen call that a "bitchin' camaro"!

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. tomwalls  ⭐‏ @tomwalls 29 Mar 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The best part of growing up.

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      3. JaaycoTV‏ @JaaycoTV 30 Mar 2017
        Replying to @tomwalls @TheOnion

        is folders in your cup

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. Johnny‏ @johnny15two 30 Mar 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I'm just shocked that the baby wasn't a boy named "Randy".

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. katherine mellow‏ @katydid_alot 29 Mar 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        To be fair, they did leave the dog in there, too, to keep an eye on things...well, mostly so no shithead would steal the car.

        0 replies 1 retweet 0 likes
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      1. George Taylor‏ @gingergeorgey 29 Mar 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        infant child as opposed to adult child

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Grant Garner‏ @gforce0ne 29 Mar 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        don't you mean bitchin’ Camaro?

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Andrew the Celt‏ @Andrew_the_Celt 29 Mar 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Hope the baby's sweat didn't stain the upholstery.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. AUstralian‏ @EhsFLATEARTH 29 Mar 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        me fuckin school?!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. New conversation
      2. Matthew‏ @ApacheOutlaw11 29 Mar 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        You need to step it up @CNN is competing with news parodies.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. 1 more reply

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