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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 28 Mar 2017

    Jared Kushner Quietly Transfers ‘Solve Middle East Crisis’ To Next Week’s To-Do List http://trib.al/FwIoUQB pic.twitter.com/P3hY9AasdG

    11:39 AM - 28 Mar 2017
    • 575 Retweets
    • 1,717 Likes
    • Daniel Koklauner TORover stay-at-home lawyer μυ Julianne LaMay katie Dre Wellsworth One F Jef i got i got i got
    17 replies 575 retweets 1,717 likes
      1. Ana Elena‏ @karmasense 28 Mar 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        after 2) get teeth whitening product at CVS

        0 replies 1 retweet 7 likes
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      1. wasabuddhistprodigy‏ @buddhistprdigy 28 Mar 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @allisonkilkenny 2 staplers, a lot of pens and nothing in the file behind him.

        0 replies 2 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Phillip McCracken‏ @xPhilMcCrackenx 28 Mar 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @blakehounshell

        give Kushner a break. he needs to focus on his planned 4 day ski trip vacation before that. the man works HARD!

        0 replies 2 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Tom Perry‏ @tom_lowell_born 28 Mar 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        On Jared's to-do list this week: delete all smartphone texts, all emails, with "Russia" in subject or body. Keep fingers crossed

        0 replies 1 retweet 2 likes
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      1. John McKean‏ @uniononly 28 Mar 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @JohnJHarwood

        The only plan he has is to fill his pockets. It's a family thing.

        0 replies 1 retweet 2 likes
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      1. Chris Erichsen‏ @chriserichsen 28 Mar 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @sarahcpr two staplers and a calculator on his desk. This young man is going to maga all the way to the banka

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
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      1. Robert Chase‏ @RLCINVT 28 Mar 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Perfect!

        0 replies 1 retweet 1 like
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      1. wherenthehellyoubeen‏ @RaymondLoretto 28 Mar 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Next destination: the circular file.

        0 replies 1 retweet 1 like
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      1. Jim Falkiner‏ @JimFalkiner 28 Mar 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @blakehounshell We have a monarchical court don't we?

        0 replies 1 retweet 1 like
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      1. Rude Sidekick‏ @RudeSidekick 28 Mar 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Right behind "get picture of Bigfoot...I mean...Melania".

        0 replies 1 retweet 1 like
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      1. Bryan Trottier‏ @gopisrip 28 Mar 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @LVBurke all will end up in Leavenworth!

        0 replies 1 retweet 0 likes
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      1. Brother Hezekiah‏ @tupadreway 28 Mar 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Temporarily had to remove that accomplishment from his Linkedin account and Wikipedia pages.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. (ReadBioFirst) George‏ @Unsportingiam 28 Mar 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        You can actually see and read what he wrote down. That's truly amazing that you can read, proud of you.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Eric F. Coppolino‏ @PlanetWaves 6 Apr 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @kristenaleenyc

        He's too busy with the "reorganize entire federal government" thing.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Jannie Holsten‏ @HolstenJannie 29 Mar 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        2 staplers - no paper. Wassup

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Marie‏ @SCMilitarybrat 29 Mar 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Jared is a real estate agent. Not a statesman

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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