Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 7 Mar 2017

    Masochistic Toilet Craving Hot Piss http://trib.al/tjukIHl pic.twitter.com/HZVwbTBJHZ

    8:50 PM - 7 Mar 2017
    • 362 Retweets
    • 1,192 Likes
    • Allie Lugin Felon Musk Mandi Kuberski Nicole Dann BS diest justin a n t i lawrence of interwebs
    18 replies 362 retweets 1,192 likes
      1. susan jekarl‏ @disastersue 7 Mar 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Oh another Trump article?

        0 replies 0 retweets 8 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Emily Who?‏ @EmilyWa60444313 7 Mar 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I expected a picture of Trump under this headline...

        0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. jeremy‏ @code__brew 7 Mar 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Donald J Toilet

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Bevo_IX‏ @BevoIX 7 Mar 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This is what's wrong with SNL and Parody, in general. Shitty writing

        2 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Jo Bob‏ @JoBobsFineFoods 7 Mar 2017
        Replying to @BevoIX @TheOnion

        dude you should totally start a site and show us how it's done!

        1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes
      4. Bevo_IX‏ @BevoIX 7 Mar 2017
        Replying to @JoBobsFineFoods @TheOnion

        I don't have time to figure out how to unfuck the debacle that is SNL. But, feel free to try.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Kenneth Tarr‏ @ktarr33 7 Mar 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @imgoodlooking24

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. hugh jass‏ @imgoodlooking24 8 Mar 2017
        Replying to @ktarr33 @TheOnion

        stop it HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. Jo Bob‏ @JoBobsFineFoods 7 Mar 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        why can't I stop laughing at this one

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. evathedeva‏ @burningivory 7 Mar 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @LMGM roflolol

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Thomas Lovejoy‏ @ThomasLovejoy 7 Mar 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @khamballer22 @RyanWilloughby2

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. nock‏ @nnnnock 7 Mar 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @Aviidity

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Katie‏ @KDWRenoGirl 7 Mar 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Sounds like what Trump craves... #Dossier

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. katie marie kozlowski‏ @katiemkozlowski 8 Mar 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @aah_lison why are you like this

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. dragonfire5472‏ @dragonfire5472 8 Mar 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        LMAO!! Best story I've seen this morning!!!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Mguy‏ @themostmguy 7 Mar 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        hey so.... are you guys hiring

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Tony Buttons‏ @tonybuttons 7 Mar 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        almost. should have said man piss

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Brend@n‏ @ChiBDM 7 Mar 2017
        Replying to @BevoIX @TheOnion

        Hello racist dude. This is actually very funny and you whining over it might be the dumbest thing I've seen all day.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. End of conversation

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info