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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 5 Mar 2017

    87% Of Loud Crashing Noises Are Nothing, Report Top Experts From Other Room http://trib.al/AS3KOjf pic.twitter.com/sJImVsv0SF

    9:29 PM - 5 Mar 2017
    • 666 Retweets
    • 1,964 Likes
    • Kerry Contrary Jade Muse Benedict Cumberbatch Karl trina c Aubri Milton (Lude) Jürgen A. Erhard Human Phil 19 ✨
    12 replies 666 retweets 1,964 likes
      1. A.L.Sylviane‏ @sandriamirado 5 Mar 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @joshgroban tell that 2my new neighbor who knocked on the wall when my son was sick &cried outloud at midnight coz vomited #nothin

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. вlue ѕooтн‏ @jRobertJohnson 5 Mar 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        It would have to be THIRTEEN percent that AREN'T nothing, wouldn't it?pic.twitter.com/kjfIqPql7e

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Lydia‏ @LydiaBarness 6 Mar 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @Heid_anSeek

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Mher Angora‏ @Mhera_ 6 Mar 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @NevSchulman

        Even if you don't have a cat?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Mike Barker‏ @nothermike 6 Mar 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Your electric sockets are sideways? I'm pretty sure they should go up and down, not side-by-side. Noises from bits falling out!

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Tweet unavailable
      4. Mike Barker‏ @nothermike 7 Mar 2017
        Replying to @oldirtyleo @TheOnion

        I suppose you didn't close your outlets during the Internet cleaning either. Let all those bits fall out!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. NebulaDragon‏ @DrPepper_Dragon 5 Mar 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Damn you nothing! Always dicking around.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. amy w‏ @amybath 5 Mar 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @joelasala it's true

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Monarch B. Grizzly‏ @GLDNST8 5 Mar 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        you're talking about @realDonaldTrump statements, aren't you?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Tumbleweed News‏ @TumbleweedTwits 5 Mar 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        OK, we get it! We at Tumbleweed News apologize for breaking in to your house

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Reflecting Void‏ @ReflectingVoid 5 Mar 2017
        Replying to @TumbleweedTwits @TheOnion

        unfunny attempt to advertise your no-name twitter page

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Daniel Angelo‏ @DanielAngeloDe 5 Mar 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        these days your stories are eerily similar to WH Press releases and @realDonaldTrump tweets

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. DEW‏ @DWeb10 5 Mar 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @kodyberget

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