Its funny because an Onion News freelancer probably wrote this lol
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@MandaCollins don't we all, onion, don't we all? - End of conversation
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amazing stuff! Please keep it coming.
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obviously the freelancer is a trust fund hipster with no actual need to work. They just write for the onion for shits and giggles.
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The truest thing I've ever seen on The Onion.
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honestly, yeah
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