Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 18 Feb 2017

    Fearful Americans Stockpiling Facts Before Federal Government Comes To Take Them Away http://trib.al/joegxQR pic.twitter.com/ORo3APBvzR

    1:35 PM - 18 Feb 2017
    • 2,265 Retweets
    • 3,600 Likes
    • Envyyous 🛫 🔜 Twitchcon Cecily Wright Thomas Curran Freedom Credit Johnson Helen Sean Taylor Jen Looper Coward Coffman Jenna
    42 replies 2,265 retweets 3,600 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Scott Monaghan‏ @scottmonaghan 18 Feb 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @ron_fournier this is actually true. Scientists scrambled to download all the data from http://data.gov .

        1 reply 1 retweet 15 likes
      3. Craig B‏ @craig58 18 Feb 2017
        Replying to @scottmonaghan @TheOnion @ron_fournier

        I would certainly have a personal copy of anything I was working on.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. soror kelly‏ @soror_kelly 18 Feb 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This would be funnier if it weren't so real. 😔

        0 replies 1 retweet 7 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Calamity Jan‏ @VJGoh 18 Feb 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @theamandabatty this kind of already happened for real, though.http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-38324045 …

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. amanda batty‏ @theamandabatty 18 Feb 2017
        Replying to @VJGoh @TheOnion @BBCWorld

        That's what all of the Alt National Parks and Alt Fed accounts are.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. amanda batty‏ @theamandabatty 18 Feb 2017
        Replying to @theamandabatty @VJGoh and

        That's why it's funny, but not funny.

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      5. Calamity Jan‏ @VJGoh 18 Feb 2017
        Replying to @theamandabatty

        :D: Someone needs to make an emoji that is both laughing and screaming in terror. That's life now.

        1 reply 0 retweets 7 likes
      6. amanda batty‏ @theamandabatty 18 Feb 2017
        Replying to @VJGoh

        Yeah. Except I just keep hoping that my head will explode and I can stop worrying about any of this shit.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      7. Calamity Jan‏ @VJGoh 18 Feb 2017
        Replying to @theamandabatty

        but then who would take care of your cat?

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      8. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Craig B‏ @craig58 18 Feb 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Facts are dangerous things to thugs. "It is a well known fact that reality has a liberal bias." - Stephen Colbert

        1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
      3. Eddie Chavez‏ @eddiejchavez 18 Feb 2017
        Replying to @craig58

        pic.twitter.com/q6OaHMf7K1

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. P‏ @oceandreamer1 18 Feb 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The onion shouldn't post true stories!

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Teacher Dude‏ @teacherdude 18 Feb 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        US households hoarding facts ahead of expected #Trump crackdownpic.twitter.com/6lp0Bt9Ax4

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Whitlock David‏ @dkwhitlock1 18 Feb 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I keep mine behind the fridge...

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Cynthia Reed‏ @Cynthia__Reed 18 Feb 2017
        Replying to @dkwhitlock1 @TheOnion

        Mine are wrapped in foil, in Ziploc bags, in the deep freeze. Look beneath the succotash. Nobody ever touches that.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Winston V  🌎RESIST 🖕‏ @Aether_One 18 Feb 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I thought you only did satire pieces...

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1.  🦇Ill Omen 🦇‏ @Reavyn 18 Feb 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @Krakenstein *lies about having facts*

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. DumpTrump‏ @plzdumptrump 19 Feb 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @rmasher2 The value of facts has responded accordingly by increasing

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. sophbee‏ @sophbly67 18 Feb 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        😂😂😂😂I can't figure out if I should laugh or cry..What's the onion going to do for parody now that we have ego45 in White House?

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Ted Lemon‏ @cdr 18 Feb 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @nyingpo

        believe it or not, this is actually happening.https://www.wired.com/2017/01/rogue-scientists-race-save-climate-data-trump/ …

        0 replies 1 retweet 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info