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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 16 Feb 2017

    Jim Beam Releases New Whiskey Specially Made For Knife, Gun Woundspic.twitter.com/luPH61oNYe

    11:37 AM - 16 Feb 2017
    • 821 Retweets
    • 1,646 Likes
    • Red Will David Bruce Jaakko Saari🦉 CH🔻R Townsend Aileen Sweet D May 2112 Owen Tuckey
    43 replies 821 retweets 1,646 likes
      1. handsome squidward‏ @pussy_footer 16 Feb 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        wow it's almost like it's not even an advertisement

        0 replies 1 retweet 4 likes
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      1. Zrna‏ @zrnazrna 16 Feb 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Does it cure broken hearts dammit

        0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
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      1. how absolutely dare you‏ @dick_brooks72 16 Feb 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @futon_frank @realflavordave @thetroopsNFL

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. Jady  🌊‏ @JadyJacobson 16 Feb 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @CynicatPro Yikes! Gee wiz. Cauterizing: I expected some big flash. Disappointing. Lol 😂

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
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      1. один муравей Райт‏ @antwright21 16 Feb 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        i wanna cut myself just to try it

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
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      1. Vince Baron‏ @Baroni64 16 Feb 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Good for lawn mowers too.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. JBrown_‏ @jbrownthegreat 16 Feb 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I'd drink it

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Radwan‏ @KhataRadwan 16 Feb 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @MSR_Future

        If some one drank it.....What will happened....He will get a ceek

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Krista Maree‏ @MareeKrista 16 Feb 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        FEMA will have trucks & staff to pass out bottles to the citizens of Chicago (the other Chicago that's like the Middle East).

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. David Hawley‏ @DavidHawley2 16 Feb 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        For a limited time you also get a 38 slug to bite down on.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Peter Metaxas‏ @Peter_Metaxas 19 Feb 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @DilettanteDan

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Κενός 🤘 🐼‏ @Kenos_typos 17 Feb 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @CowboyGBiz ΕΠΙΤΕΛΟΥΣ

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. tasteo‏ @jletourne 16 Feb 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        where can I get some!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. mitch‏ @Mitchkute 16 Feb 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @BiggestLewser wish this was real

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Arin and Angela Post‏ @PostRift 16 Feb 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        what about if your whole life is a bruise

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Gene Mullett‏ @genemullett 16 Feb 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I have to stop watching this at work. Looks like my problems are worse than they actually are.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Lord Commander Shank‏ @poby31 16 Feb 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @kmauger40

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. New conversation
      2. Nicole Grimmesey‏ @NicoleGrimmesey 16 Feb 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @EmjaeOspina this is perfect for you

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. 1 more reply

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