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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 15 Feb 2017

    Report: Majority Of Diner’s Salt And Pepper Shakers Currently Being Used To Diagram Elaborately Planned Bank Heists http://trib.al/KdyZYtJ pic.twitter.com/WDlrBZkDyL

    10:22 AM - 15 Feb 2017
    • 488 Retweets
    • 1,648 Likes
    • Sandra Sophia Ludovice Natasha bwp S h a y Richard Chambers Bill L. skeie4 Charles E. Cheese
    13 replies 488 retweets 1,648 likes
      1. Dakota McMillan  🐢‏ @dakotaqmcmillan 15 Feb 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        women reportedly asked to borrow hot sauce to which the man responded "the bank teller is busy". Confused women still sauceless

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. spencerwillems‏ @spencerwillems 15 Feb 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @ClaudiaLauer or last-shot plays for basketball.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Claudia Lauer‏ @ClaudiaLauer 15 Feb 2017
        Replying to @spencerwillems

        Is that the best way to guard the governor? I want you to go back to Arkansas just to play in that game.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      4. spencerwillems‏ @spencerwillems 15 Feb 2017
        Replying to @ClaudiaLauer

        put a body on him and keep him to his left. If @dismang or @JR__Davis wants to fly me down Ill lace up.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      5. End of conversation
      1. MBTA WorkerBee‏ @MBTAWorkerbee 15 Feb 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Tabasco is the getaway car

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Melissa‏ @fastandfueryous 15 Feb 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @megan_minogue

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Deixar-pra là jusqu'à la mort クポ❢ | EdJay‏ @Tarcil 15 Feb 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I thought, that's normal behavior in restaurant meetings? :3 😅🤔😂😁@TheOnion

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. JimmyWhiskers‏ @JimmyWhiskers 15 Feb 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Don't you hate it when the holes in the pepper shaker are too small for the pepper to come out.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Chris Sadler‏ @cdsadler 15 Feb 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Or rugby plays

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. KLNorvell‏ @KLNorvell 15 Feb 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This.. Think piece needs more Rebecca Pidgeon.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. D  🔹‏ @Devious_freak 15 Feb 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        it's that how the stole all that money from the pentagon? While claiming a plane hit it?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Craig B‏ @craig58 15 Feb 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        ...or to illustrator top secret plans during presidential briefings in public places.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Tims_Lady‏ @Tims_Lady 15 Feb 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I love you all so much 😂😂🖖🏼

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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