Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 17 Jan 2017

    Republicans Vow Not To Repeal Obamacare Without Detailed Plan For Disposing Of Patients’ Disease-Ridden Corpses http://trib.al/Eec7OFN pic.twitter.com/PqFLvnNeqW

    10:44 AM - 17 Jan 2017
    • 1,030 Retweets
    • 1,720 Likes
    • Karen Rebecca 🌴rayan🌴 Cheryl Aponte Camry-Cook William Bragg Anda a decirle Millenial a tu abuela Dutch Schultz danny 🦇 hansen
    29 replies 1,030 retweets 1,720 likes
      1. Traitors Will Hang!!!‏ @Aurum420 17 Jan 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Republicans vow to create millions of minimum wage jobs as Pillow Technicians to relieve the suffering of the chronically ill.pic.twitter.com/V2iuIWWKf9

        0 replies 3 retweets 20 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Karen Honey‏ @IamKarenHoney 17 Jan 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @markos Breaking: The Onion finally issued WH press cred as writing finally seems legit.

        0 replies 0 retweets 10 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Bern Wallstreet‏ @Bern_Wallstreet 17 Jan 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/WTYB9pX1sy

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Resistor‏ @out_speaker 17 Jan 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        is this connected to the Soylent bill?

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. MesaVerdeWoman‏ @Ann_E_Nygmah 17 Jan 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @RileyRae58

        Quick! someone buy a dictionary for the republicans so they can look up the word "detailed".

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. frigid damsel‏ @izaleu 18 Jan 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @SuperSpacedad

        I thought this said "parents" instead of "patients" x_x

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3.  🏳️‍🌈SPACEDADECAPS  🏳️‍🌈‏ @SuperSpacedad 18 Jan 2017
        Replying to @izaleu @TheOnion

        it is bleakly fitting either way...

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Stuart Ponder‏ @stuartponder 17 Jan 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        To be fair, the GOP did warn us that Obamacare would create Death Panels.

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. Kal AKA‏ @KalAbehra 17 Jan 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I hate that this is in the Onion...

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Professor Deviant‏ @prof_deviant 17 Jan 2017
        Replying to @KalAbehra @TheOnion

        - take a joke man, #DAMN - it’s #satire Comedy is all about timing, not #political correctness.

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. Kal AKA‏ @KalAbehra 17 Jan 2017
        Replying to @prof_deviant @TheOnion

        Ok fine it is just sad that we can satire using a story that needs to be true because its good not funny.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. GeneralOrder24‏ @GeneralOrder5 17 Jan 2017
        Replying to @KalAbehra @prof_deviant

        ....'need to be true...', On TWITTER??????

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      6. Kal AKA‏ @KalAbehra 17 Jan 2017
        Replying to @GeneralOrder5 @prof_deviant @TheOnion

        no in real life!!

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      7. 1 more reply
      1. Hat Trick‏ @Huck48 17 Jan 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        .@TheOnion are you guys absolutely certain this is a joke? Personally, I wouldn't put it past them.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Scary Spice  🎃‏ @Delibird444 17 Jan 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @boyfrom1983 #FAKENEWS

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Shaun Fitzpatrick‏ @shaunfitz16 22 Jan 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Great read on Mauldin's takeaways from Washington DChttps://investoralmanac.com/2017/01/22/mauldin-what-i-learned-in-washington-dc/ …

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. 🅁.🅆.🄺.🅃.‏ @theonlymanhere 18 Jan 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Hey it's that scene from The Purge!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info