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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 15 Dec 2016

    Man Prowling At Airport Gate Ready To Pounce Like Jungle Cat At First Sign Of Boarding http://trib.al/um3CCOM pic.twitter.com/Kb9DEEdW3I

    5:30 AM - 15 Dec 2016
    • 310 Retweets
    • 885 Likes
    • MemoryStoria MHIN EkmekArasiFanzin kate nothing creative HurricaneZara Patrick Caslin OrdinalCardinals Bernard
    18 replies 310 retweets 885 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Katherine McCool‏ @kmccoolio 15 Dec 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @CharlesMcCool this article is about you

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Charles McCool  ✈️‏Verified account @CharlesMcCool 15 Dec 2016
        Replying to @kmccoolio @TheOnion

        #travel #hacker

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. Mitch Larson‏ @brothermitch 15 Dec 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @Nora_Larson did you see this guy?

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Myk Guido‏ @mikejguido 15 Dec 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion @Aportzline

        First Dibs on overhead bin. All you other suckers have to shove your shit under the seat. Or send it down the ramp

        0 replies 1 retweet 0 likes
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      1. G. Robert Shiplett‏ @rshifflet 15 Dec 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        they photon-chopped me !! S'OK Ivanka says photons ain't any more real than fields #Weyl #Maxwell #ZeroField #structure #geodesic

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. emma douglas‏ @emma0douglas 15 Dec 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @ehp22 I'm sitting at the airport rn about to board a flight and that makes this even funnier.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Cordelia‏ @cordeliadmiller 15 Dec 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @millerm1962 was going to send this to you and then saw that you had retweeted it #moo

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. GatewayBikeBoathouse‏ @GatewayBikeBoat 15 Dec 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion @ajantanobusines

        ...in a manner identical to that of a leopard bounding after a spooked warthog

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. murf sez VOTE #ResistanceDayNov6‏ @murfholf 15 Dec 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        you never feel so alive than when your in an airline boarding queue.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Kyle Carney‏ @kcarneyster 15 Dec 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        "The sooner I get on the plane, the sooner it will take off."

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Scott Bader‏ @cottsader 15 Dec 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @JohnSharkman did you write this?

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. John Sharkman‏ @JohnSharkman 15 Dec 2016
        Replying to @cottsader @TheOnion

        I am the mortal enemy of these people.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Morgan McDevitt‏ @morganmcd 15 Dec 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        congrats on achieving your goal of sitting on the plane longer than all other passengers. Genius.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Branden McEuen‏ @branden_mceuen 15 Dec 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        THIS IS LITERALLY THE WORST AND IT ALWAYS HAPPENS

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Mark N (off-duty) Pro- ♿ ☮ 🌈 ⚛ 🕌 ✡‏ @RealMarcN 15 Dec 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        So? He wants to get back to Cleveland before everyone else getting on that flight!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. AK‏ @killawattannie 15 Dec 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        and push aside Grandma & step over little Susie all so he can get sweat his bottom off getting his overstuffed bag into the bin..

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. DaMaLa‏ @DaMaLa67 15 Dec 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        We love The Onion!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Aaron Mitchell‏ @AaronJMitchell 15 Dec 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        i always wonder if these people don't realise seating is assigned till they rush onto the plane and see the seats have numbers

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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