Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 14 Nov 2016

    Archaeologists Discover Ancient Femur That Could Make Mouthwatering Broth http://trib.al/gzV515L pic.twitter.com/dL3oIgLsDt

    5:40 AM - 14 Nov 2016
    • 506 Retweets
    • 1,386 Likes
    • Alex Orians Therese Pokorney Andrew Scott momma mag Nigel Anderson a drink Ben! Steve Peters Yankee Jim
    17 replies 506 retweets 1,386 likes
      1. James Edward Carter‏ @James_EdC 14 Nov 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Sadly, a woolly mammoth carcass was found in Siberia but was eaten before science people could examine it. True story.

        0 replies 1 retweet 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Cnote‏ @Cnote221 14 Nov 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion @MCMVIII

        I swear the onion is the best!! 😂

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. MildSauce‏ @MCMVIII 14 Nov 2016
        Replying to @Cnote221 @TheOnion

        THE best. Lol

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. Cnote‏ @Cnote221 14 Nov 2016
        Replying to @MCMVIII @TheOnion

        I remember 1st time I saw on FB someone posted one of their articles HOT! Not knowing it was satire... I died lol

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      5. MildSauce‏ @MCMVIII 14 Nov 2016
        Replying to @Cnote221 @TheOnion

        it happens all the time. Hell ppl on Facebook post satirical articles all the time not knowing what they are

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      6. End of conversation
      1. STEVE‏ @leonardselc 15 Nov 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @KevHeritage the trend towards palaeolithic diets is getting ridiculous. What next? Stone Aged steaks? Cave Manchego cheese? #fads

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Liz‏ @lschn4 15 Nov 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @KevHeritage Hmmm. Might need a little Salt. 🙃

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Intertubes9000‏ @Intertubes9000 14 Nov 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Stop spreading lies, Science. Everyone knows that good soup comes from a stone.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Rich Cook‏ @richcook09 14 Nov 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/htVDeRvnvt

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Molly Roth‏ @linoleumsquare 14 Nov 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @Trubbleinmind

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Kyle Tieman-Strauss‏ @tiemanstrauss 14 Nov 2016
        Replying to @MarcoAdrianR @TheOnion

        you are litz the SECOND person to send this 2 me

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Guillermina Gnocchi (Apollo Justice is gay AF)‏ @Drag_Queenosaur 15 Nov 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Joder yo quiero #SoupBestBreakfast

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. PorcupineTree‏ @april_danford 14 Nov 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Aww, gross!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. FaveMLBPlayerName‏ @FaveMLBName 14 Nov 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Baby, you got a stew going!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Folsom8k‏ @Folsom8k 14 Nov 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        looks like a tibia.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Jay-Kun‏ @YaBoyJayyyyy 14 Nov 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        why

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. (ReadBioFirst) George‏ @Unsportingiam 14 Nov 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Or a taste bone for my dog......

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info