Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 9 Oct 2016

    Paul Ryan Currently 141 Miles Into Run Through Wisconsin Countryside http://bit.ly/2dEp1ht pic.twitter.com/joiLdjFa6C

    1:27 PM - 9 Oct 2016
    • 467 Retweets
    • 1,419 Likes
    • FunCo Stephanie Ellison hacked CG Luke Cissell Mike X. Nichols kuliki Mike Brooks Robert Marchini
    Paul Ryan
    29 replies 467 retweets 1,419 likes
      1. Susan Campbell‏ @campbellsl 9 Oct 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion @PRyan

        But only because his endorsement of @realDonaldTrump is riiiiight behind him.

        0 replies 0 retweets 8 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. At Liberty to Say‏ @libertytosay 9 Oct 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion @PRyan

        Dang, when you said you would distance yourself from Trump you were SERIOUS!!

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. david m. stubbe‏ @dmstubbe 9 Oct 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Keep going

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Avocadoatlaw‏ @avocadoatlawnyc 9 Oct 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion @PRyan

        chasing after his conscience, I presume. But it's got quite a lead on him

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. frasquito garwin‏ @MutantFrasquito 9 Oct 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Watch Sports Streams HD Movies, TV Series and Premium X.X.X S.E.X Free bhmq https://goo.gl/IPl9KY pic.twitter.com/OBYwHvmMzc

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Foster McKenzie‏ @SOS_Write 10 Oct 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion @PeterHamby @PRyan

        Run, Ryan, Run.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Henk Verhoeven‏ @VerhoevenHenk 9 Oct 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion @PRyan

        Does that have any significance...? If so, what is it?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Chase Benfield‏ @ChaseBenfield 9 Oct 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion @PRyan

        Who has time for that? - Fraudulent Waste and Abuse. What's his salary?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Dave Williams‏ @jodw1020 9 Oct 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Maybe Paul Ryan should find a place to hide in the WI countryside and stay there! He is an embarrassment!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. wordBoy‏ @wordBoy 9 Oct 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion @PRyan

        ...and there may never be a good reason to stop.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Pete Weisell‏ @Newtonianphysic 9 Oct 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion @PRyan

        Run Forest. Run.#trumponyourtail

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Jackie Walsh‏ @FrequentlyLost 9 Oct 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion @PRyan

        let's hope he doesn't make it out.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. JONATHON‏ @gpliafail 9 Oct 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion @PRyan

        He may be taking 4 or 5 laps too.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Bernadette McKelvie‏ @bmmckelvie 9 Oct 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion @RealBaymen @PRyan

        Too little, too late!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. 29virgo39‏ @29virgo391 9 Oct 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @SpeakerRyan can run but he can't hide. The voters are watching. #VoteBlueDownTheTicket

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Ultrastooge‏ @DK_Lush 9 Oct 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion @PRyan

        Stupid is as stupid doespic.twitter.com/y7GrIElyHY

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. brian mcmillen‏ @brianmcmillen2 9 Oct 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion @PRyan

        now thatsfunny

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info