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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 8 Aug 2016

    Man Puts Glass Of Water On Bedside Table In Case He Needs To Make Huge Mess In Middle Of Nighthttp://onion.com/2b94UHa 

    9:00 PM - 8 Aug 2016
    • 1,248 Retweets
    • 2,888 Likes
    • Michael Alvino Tom Laurendi The Season of the Roche quid pro bro rain.glitter Majes Arsadfero Coop Ryan Just Me Dan Weiner
    25 replies 1,248 retweets 2,888 likes
      1. Justin‏ @Thegambone 8 Aug 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @meganganz thank you so much for this. Could hardly make it through each sentence between laughing fits.

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. Hayley‏ @HayleyWaterman1 8 Aug 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        - In related news, woman puts water on nightstand in case cat needs to knock it over onto her face in the middle of the night.

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. Carson‏ @GamerBroStudio 8 Aug 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion @Zenmaster_Blue

        Waterbottles my friend

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. anna‏ @anna_trhn 8 Aug 2016
        Replying to @JULZRICH6 @TheOnion

        omg tbt

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. kornnuts‏ @Freestr69 8 Aug 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @SethMacFarlane hey some of us have real problems like the three day old styrofoam cup of milk on the radiator. And cake.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. PHD‏ @2CentsFromDaCan 8 Aug 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        may in fact be the best article ever written.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Melissa Daniels‏ @MissyD_MKE 8 Aug 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        My ex. Every fucking night...

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Taylor Hall‏ @TaylorHall121 9 Aug 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        literally cried reading that!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Brandon Patterson‏ @brandnpatterson 8 Aug 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @catladylaurenn

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. D Town‏ @topshelved 8 Aug 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @elanawilliams_

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Laura Fallsgraff‏ @LaurkFallsgraff 8 Aug 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        RT @TheOnion: Man Puts Glass Of Water On Bedside Table In Case He Needs To Make Huge Mess In Middle Of Nightpic.twitter.com/QQThOAXafE

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. New conversation
      2. Cat 'Nazi Tweets Sod Off' Vincent‏ @catvincent 9 Aug 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @jacksontom It me

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Tom Jackson‏ @jacksontom 9 Aug 2016
        Replying to @catvincent @TheOnion

        Me, too. I ALWAYS have a glass of water next to the bed.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Grace Ann‏ @graclynne14 8 Aug 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @H3Tyler if this ain't us😂😂😂😂😂

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Mike McNulty‏ @MikeMcNulty512 8 Aug 2016
        Replying to @bbarkasy @TheOnion

        you know I keep it there because my throat gets dry if I don't drink before I go to bed.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. JuanatheMad‏ @Molybdenum45 10 Aug 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Did my husband commission this?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Karen RK 🥨 💖 ❤️ 🖤 💗‏ @LoneStarmadillo 9 Aug 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I prefer to use red wine!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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