Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 18 Jul 2016

    Secret Service Rooftop Sniper Team Depressed By Sprawling View Of Cleveland http://onion.com/29IZssp pic.twitter.com/3NwIssAIK6

    1:37 PM - 18 Jul 2016
    • 524 Retweets
    • 1,214 Likes
    • v e r i f i e d influencer DangDajun David Dylan Reddy Dasha Patroucheva lizzy liz myah DeadlyBananas Mark Sfeir
    15 replies 524 retweets 1,214 likes
      1. OOGIE‏ @oogierulz 18 Jul 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        suck it!!!pic.twitter.com/95KRxqw8sp

        0 replies 1 retweet 8 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. T‏ @TD_4800 18 Jul 2016
        Replying to @TdoggFreshX

        .@TdoggFreshX Yeah, if you're a coroner.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Kathy Kelley‏ @LoveMyCavalier 18 Jul 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        😂😂😂

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Derrin Smith‏ @The_Dern 18 Jul 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        yeah so terrible right?pic.twitter.com/LvdKMQgM2N

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Dana‏ @fleainyourear 18 Jul 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I know why hardly anyone reads the stinky onion anymore.It's like a nerd with bad breath and no sense of humor trying to be funny

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. T Lynn Picon‏ @LaBelleChien 19 Jul 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Well , it could have been in Akron.....

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Marg50‏ @mmullen50 18 Jul 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Wow - this joke has certainly stood the test of time.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Celtic craig‏ @celtic_craig 18 Jul 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        find video footage of most cities. stargate sg1 calls you REPLIKATORS. you are killing the earth.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. katherine mellow‏ @katydid_alot 18 Jul 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        It does seem apropos this convention is being held in Cleveland.(and No, having Rock n Roll Hall of Fame does NOT make up for it)

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. austin moore‏ @aukmoore 18 Jul 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @Thom_Lunik

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. maryann‏ @maryannmom 18 Jul 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Trump already making America great again, starting with forcing people to visit Cleveland.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. rembrandtrubens‏ @rembrandtrubens 18 Jul 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        You're mistaken.He's depressed because your staff keeps moving!!!!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. 75 Cents‏ @75cents 18 Jul 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Depressed by Sprawling view ? How about The disemboweling of bodies gouging of eyes stabbing of Vaginas at Bataclan Night club

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. vperry‏ @VickiPerry30 18 Jul 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Not funny!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info