Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 19 May 2016

    Scientists Discover Eating Serves Function Other Than Easing Anxiety http://onion.com/1TicxNy pic.twitter.com/QYnk2Qowo3

    5:32 PM - 19 May 2016
    • 505 Retweets
    • 1,040 Likes
    • sarah thordarson lucmg123 Taynnara Queiroz Brett Aisha Y Pat Rogers T. K. Young Canio Marasco Andy Green
    12 replies 505 retweets 1,040 likes
      1. Trevor Sherman‏ @TrevorSherman1 19 May 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Doubt it...

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. A1 Best Movers‏ @A1BestMovers 19 May 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @DrKJStanley Tacos errryyyyydddaaayyy😂😂

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Kenneth J. Stanley‏ @DrKJStanley 19 May 2016
        Replying to @A1BestMovers @TheOnion

        Tacos are proof that God loves us.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. Mark Adelhoch‏ @MarkAdelhoch 24 May 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @MorgansBrain the blue cyclops circle squinted and glared at the old man that had poked him in his one good eye

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. # 👑 💎 💋 💫 💯 ♾‏ @EBAIcommerce 20 May 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        lol wow

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Good Life Decoder‏ @GoodLifeDecoder 20 May 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Now that's clearly a lie... #mentalhealthmatters

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Zero Charisma‏ @0charm 19 May 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        lmfao

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. T Lynn Picon‏ @LaBelleChien 19 May 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        ...now calling it "The Super Bowl Party Effect"....

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Bernard Silverman‏ @DonKeehotey 19 May 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Holiday fruitcake good as paper weight, evening off kitchen table legs. Occasionally contains actual fruit.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Brian Smith‏ @BVTech 19 May 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Scientists unanimously vote to not use pie charts anymore because they are too confusing.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Mark Phillips‏ @markp93 19 May 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Famed nutritionist Peter Higgs... lol

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Katie Kustura‏ @KatieKustura 19 May 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        .@TheOnionpic.twitter.com/9gLvYAwhI1

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Vicki 🔦 🦋‏ @Vicka2shoes 19 May 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @rudytheflyer Who knew??😱

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info