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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 4 May 2016

    Study: Average American Now Requires 3 Attempts To Get Up From Seated Position http://onion.com/24rMoBd pic.twitter.com/bAoGazMw7z

    1:25 PM - 4 May 2016
    • 467 Retweets
    • 918 Likes
    • Marinda Ogle Karin Miller Whitney Gerald Mike DiSalvo Belinda Sherlock Sarah Patterson Layne Sargeson Lazy Legs Hamid Shafeeu
    14 replies 467 retweets 918 likes
      1. Steven Strittmatter‏ @stevenstritt 4 May 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion @Mangan150 The Onion has become indistinguishable from "real" news.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Matt D Bob‏ @Matt_D_Bob 4 May 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion Only 3? Lucky bastards. I need five and a pulley.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. New conversation
      2. Carlito the IV‏ @quickspider15 4 May 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion This is real right? No way this can't be real. 😂

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. john‏ @trobbie_ 4 May 2016
        Replying to @quickspider15

        @quickspider15 @TheOnion it's the onion. What do you think?

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. Carlito the IV‏ @quickspider15 4 May 2016
        Replying to @trobbie_

        @HelmTheHobbit @TheOnion Obviously it's fake but it sounds like it should be real.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. Susan Reischl‏ @SusanLBPT 5 May 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion got to love it, this is we are heading for sure #GetPT1st #ReischlPT

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. JONATHON‏ @gpliafail 4 May 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion After 3rd try..they get assistance of a construction crane

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Lynn Woodhall‏ @LynnWoodhall 4 May 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion Back at the #gym

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Bernard Silverman‏ @DonKeehotey 4 May 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion Researchers found that a strong electrical charge from the seat "encouraged" study participants to rise quickly.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Nasty Snowflakes Vote‏ @jhillmurphy 4 May 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion Not that there's anything wrong with it...right?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Steven Lalande‏ @cajunway54 4 May 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion You get Old , back ,hips ,knees ,ect. all want to stay put . With arthritis it gets harder . Wait ,your not getting younger !

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Paul Fawkesley‏ @paul_furley 4 May 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Hmm I was just reading @TheOnion in Twitter's crappy browser then got redirected to the app store, WTF happened?pic.twitter.com/2iYksCWBa6

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Adam McMaster‏ @AstroAdamMc 5 May 2016
        Replying to @paul_furley

        @paul_furley @TheOnion it'll likely be a compromised ad network. I remember seeing a spate of sites doing that a few years ago.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. Paul Fawkesley‏ @paul_furley 5 May 2016
        Replying to @AstroAdamMc

        @astopy @TheOnion That's pretty nasty. I've switched Twitter client so I can use Safari with the Focus ad blocker :/

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. Chris Kozub‏ @recon5961 4 May 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion Problem easily solved, everyone needs a lift chair to get their butts out of a chair on the first attempt.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. JGSmith82‏ @SmithJG1 4 May 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion This is probably true, our health as a nation is a joke now. PE in schools is just a joke. Weak bodies equals weak minds

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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