@TheOnion Lonely convict downed 10 Red Bulls, then met 237 women during 2 hrs of speed dating when he was "vague" about past.
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@TheOnion and that's a state-issued belt.Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion @ilogansmithThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion Well all right then. Time to move on.Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion I el so safe with the current legal system. It warms my toilet seat to know that criminals are so well maintained.
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