Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 13 Apr 2016

    ExxonMobil CEO Relieved It Finally Too Late To Do Anything About Climate Change http://onion.com/1N8ytYX pic.twitter.com/tVgV7Unmj8

    9:25 AM - 13 Apr 2016
    • 787 Retweets
    • 1,250 Likes
    • 💙 Carah Huong Petit Jessica Rogers Quoc Tran Amy Dowd nickbit Nur Mufidatul Ula Ryan Lawler
    16 replies 787 retweets 1,250 likes
      1. james smallII‏ @hnicjrlsII 14 Apr 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion was going to retweet but it was on 666....

        0 replies 1 retweet 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Jaiami‏ @Jaiami88 13 Apr 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion As he was flossing baby seal from his teeth.

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Elizabeth Henry‏ @eahlovesu13 13 Apr 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion ~Hates his grandkids anyway.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Crystal Valarie‏ @crystalvalarie 13 Apr 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion @SethMacFarlane "Aw man & we were seriously just about to do something. I was just telling the guys last week, now it's too late."

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. RD‏ @ADMrome 13 Apr 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion @lizzy_barrett13 all too relevant

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Tommie Boy‏ @tommieboy77 13 Apr 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion Maybe, but our $19.2 TRILLION debt will sink us long before global warming does

        2 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      3. WronkleDonkle‏ @Wronkle 13 Apr 2016
        Replying to @tommieboy77

        @tommieboy77 @TheOnion probably not a liquid debt is much more manageable than Mother Nature kicking our ass.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. Tommie Boy‏ @tommieboy77 13 Apr 2016
        Replying to @Wronkle

        @Wronkle The debt will transform us into Venezuela in no time. You will still be singing socialism's virtues as toilet paper can't be found

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. Brenda Mackel‏ @CObuddha23 14 Apr 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion --Too on the nose, Onion...

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Raza Zaheer‏ @raza_zaheer 13 Apr 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion @SethMacFarlane 😓😓😓

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Nick Paul‏ @nickpaul2005 13 Apr 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion @SethMacFarlane But it's never too late to kick him in the shin.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. MetalMikeFisher‏ @Metalmikefisher 13 Apr 2016
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion It is a triumphant success for all of us ( Clean Energy ) is a myth and now the world knows what real #LeprechaunsCanDo

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info