@TheOnion Flustered father walks in on masterbating son:
"Jimmy! You keep doing that you'll go blind!"
"Dad I'm over here"
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This just in:
@TheOnion rehashes awful joke bad comedians use when dying on stage. Is that how Friday feels in Chicago?#theAristocrats!Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion@saucemansteve @gmaulger44Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion ^pretty much 2/3 of the videos on Pornhub rnThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion In related news, teen "has no idea" why his mom's Jergens is next to his computer.Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion I was hoping for video!Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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"
@TheOnion: Local Teen Walks In On Family Masturbating http://onion.com/1PvIQ3c pic.twitter.com/BsG9OUbxvC"@camillelogan85 haha
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@TheOnion And angrily declares, "hey, what the hell, why wasn't I included?!"Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion Was The New Reality Show....The Cruz esThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion @joeyprzygockiThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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