@TheOnion Time isn't holding us, time isn't after us
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@TheOnion Guilty! I woke up at 6am last week to find my 9 year old daughter, Anabella watching Breakfast at Tiffany's, alone.
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@jwhuft@TheOnion@ccouncil41 "it'd be nice to know what everyone is talking about for a change." Many lolz
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@TheOnion Same as it ever wasThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion this is not my beautiful house...Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion This is the best thing a parent could do.#MusicDiedIn95 There is water at the bottom of the Ocean. -
@MabeBrian@TheOnion nah man, you just gave up and stopped looking in '95. There has never been a greater time to be a fan of music than now
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@TheOnion She has closed her eyes She has give up hopeThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion this is the FUNNIEST thing ive ever seen in my lifeThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion My ears are burning!#FossilRockThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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