Tests of the soil beneath the @TedCruz yard signs revealed it to be highly acidic and often scalding to the touch. http://www.theonion.com/r/52409tsd
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@TheOnion did Hillary tell you to write thisThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion has jumped the shark, or in this case,@HillaryClinton. Can't be a satire site when you are so in the bag for the Dems.Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion When my neighbor planted his Trump campaign sign, a wall will suddenly erect around his property whenever the gardener comes by.Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@daviddoel@TheOnion@OnionPolitics and the number of your followings is 666.




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@derekmurphy312@TheOnion HAHAHAHAThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion@tedcruz@OnionPolitics Now that's what I call a Scorched Earth PolicyThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion@lisam02184@tedcruz@OnionPolitics Probably cause everyone wants to stop and piss on it..To high Nitrogen burn..Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion@tedcruz@OnionPolitics He's certainly a blight on the landscape.Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion ~ Hmmm. One might think with all the BULLSHIT that flows from his sewerage plant of a brain it would be ten feet tall!!Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion@tedcruz@OnionPolitics - lol, too funny.Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion@LakynBrooke@tedcruz@OnionPolitics Cruz and Rubio causing livestock to release more methane? Can't light match on ranch.Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@OnionPolitics According 2@TheOnion this will happen 2 your beautiful new lawn should U post a@tedcruz sign in it@Matt_Groth@Swebster9Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion@Folsom8k@tedcruz@OnionPolitics just like the crate with a swastika.#PureEvilThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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