@TheOnion "My huge wife just crushed his skull" (To Nationwide Insurance jingle)
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@TheOnion@DFS_Almanac that's not his wife. That's Boban.Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion I had no idea that Peyton married Wendy Deng Murdoch. Jerry Hall better keep looking over her shoulder as she could be next.Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion Can she do that do Roethlisberger please?Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion Papa John injects cheese into his face.Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion This happens all too often.Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion@FeitsBarstool 1:01? Even the onion is trying to bury this story.Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion Mrs Manning's guns are as big as Peytons forehead.Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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