@TheOnion this is so sad. I hate this feeling, makes my heart ache. 

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@calmamerica@theonion when do the regular writers get back from Christmas vacation?
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@TheOnion me, every timeThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion@misstayloryates sigh. thats my life. nothing better than instagramming a picture seconds before you take offThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@theonion one writer would have been back from vacation by now but he accidentally said something funny and had to start over.Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion We've all been there ;_;Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion@mellamocydney me when I came back from Europe -
@stephee95@TheOnion me too after every flight lol
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@theonion Its so sad not even a have a safe flight text?That's so bad and a person would really wonder what friends and family are for.Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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“
@TheOnion: Disheartened Man Expected At Least One Text While Checking Phone After Flight http://onion.com/1N2AL62 pic.twitter.com/M2JYwxHpsO”
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Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion Hell, I'd text 'im. Handsome. What's his number? :pThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion this is sadly relatableThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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