@TheOnion Have a very great day let's make 2015 super great The Onion 


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@TheOnion here's a good one - the British Government put devices in N. Irish children's ears to spy -as British as Finchly-I don't think so! -
@TheOnion the thing is I was told by a member of the IRA that these devices only work in close quarters- perfect for scientologist torturers -
@TheOnion my implants gave the British Government the goods on Scientology - they're a drug addict paedophile torture ring -
@TheOnion talk about bait and switch. They only invited me to join once in a recovered memory - I refused and they tortured me for 10 years
End of conversation
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