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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 4 Oct 2015

    New Evidence Confirms First Human Ancestors Climbed Down From Trees To Retrieve Dropped Snack http://onion.com/1Vxbtq5 pic.twitter.com/PTAebH1hQz

    11:40 AM - 4 Oct 2015
    • 300 Retweets
    • 561 Likes
    • Lexi and Peachickys Jake 🏳️‍🌈 🕷️ マクロス instain mummy  🎃 Harlow Monroe 🅰️lvaro Q Christoffer Vig TH Grimclaw Nudibranch Mark Miller
    18 replies 300 retweets 561 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Owolabi Adewole‏ @acresofsaphire 4 Oct 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion my ancestors are not apes. To show how silly evolution theory is, when would a chicken evolve?!

        8 replies 3 retweets 0 likes
      3. LibSoc Scientist‏ @LibSocScientist 4 Oct 2015
        Replying to @acresofsaphire

        @acresofsaphire @TheOnion Simple: whenever the environmental pressures change requiring different traits for survival.

        1 reply 1 retweet 2 likes
      4. Owolabi Adewole‏ @acresofsaphire 5 Oct 2015
        Replying to @LibSocScientist

        @SciApologist @TheOnion how many creatures has evolved since your ape-forefather?!

        1 reply 2 retweets 0 likes
      5. LibSoc Scientist‏ @LibSocScientist 5 Oct 2015
        Replying to @acresofsaphire

        @acresofsaphire @TheOnion Given how many hundreds of millennia have passed, somewhere on the order of several hundred thousand.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      6. End of conversation
      1. Erin Condiff‏ @CondiffKingdom 4 Oct 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion the only thing that gets me out of bed on a sunday.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. VivianWang949‏ @vivianwang949 12 Oct 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion 无法直视的画风hhhh

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Fushu Berenzy‏ @VushuVenus 4 Oct 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion ROFL!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Margie‏ @margiearkcity 4 Oct 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion decided to stay on ground. Get married and buy a car.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Margie‏ @margiearkcity 4 Oct 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion And when they got there, they found rotting and fermented fruits. They ingested them-accidentally-becoming hilarious dancing arond

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. roop misir‏ @rupieroop 4 Oct 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion A cock n' bulls eye story, or just monkeying around?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. svenc‏ @svencjohn_steve 4 Oct 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion "Newman" !!!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. FAT Panther Lou‏ @PanthersFanBled 4 Oct 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion WHAT? NO WAY

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Matthew Osborn‏ @TheOzy69 4 Oct 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion @HowardStern #bababooey

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Jac Higgins 🙈 🙉 🙊‏ @Vette73 4 Oct 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion Must have been a man. On Sunday. Watching football.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. S. Henry Knocker‏ @shknocker 4 Oct 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion Well how did they get up the tree in the first place

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Jason‏ @newlakeland 4 Oct 2015
        Replying to @shknocker

        @shknocker @TheOnion I thought God put them there ...

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. End of conversation

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