@melanders_07 I'm surprised selling organs wasn't on there... probably because it's an actual thing people do to pay for college 

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@melanders_07 Bernie Sanders will save us
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@TheOnion#meira The best way to cut college fees is to vote for Bernie Sanderspic.twitter.com/TEBHk4RwZp
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@TheOnion truck stop blowjobs don't pay too badly either. Give our truckers some love!
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@TheOnion Be your dorms bookie, can carry over after graduation. Be to go to guy for fake ID,s, a new crop of potential customers every fallThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion LOVE the short embedded video format.






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@thesafarimaster@TheOnion I can't read text anymore unless it's moving so thank you. -
@9EndlessShrimp6@TheOnion same. Triple double auto-erotic astigmatism
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