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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 5 Aug 2015

    "Each one of your past and current crushes has been saving themselves for you and you alone." http://onion.com/1JMbq2u pic.twitter.com/OFG0J8mfRo

    9:01 AM - 5 Aug 2015
    • 224 Retweets
    • 445 Likes
    • Kylie Underwood Felicity Rutherford Beryl Olsen Elizabeth Baldwin mensah arhin Russell Colman stacybird24Mw dirtykathy kate🤠
    15 replies 224 retweets 445 likes
      1. Carl‏ @dexter111344 5 Aug 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion Then why are at least two of them married and another has moved far, far away? And what about the 12 restraining orders?

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. V E R O N I C A‏ @pasdesouciee 5 Aug 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion @cashmoneycassj

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Isaac Navarro‏ @youfoundisaac 5 Aug 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion yesss 😊

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Colin K.‏ @colin67652627 5 Aug 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion @JackDail is this true?!?!?!?!?!!?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Vark‏ @VArkelS 5 Aug 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion nope nope nope nope nope

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Tyler Schafer‏ @Tylerschafer7 5 Aug 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion the Onion never lies

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. biggranny‏ @biggranny56 5 Aug 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion wow.......do I wish THAT were true!!!!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Bekkie Sanchez‏ @capriciouspoet 5 Aug 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion You are giving out false hopes to people who should be moving on.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. María Daniela‏ @BlackRebelMaria 5 Aug 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion ahahahaahahahaha!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Karen Sandler‏ @karensandlerYA 5 Aug 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion Even the one that's dead now? That's a little creepy.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Not Easily Influencd‏ @RealMaximusMax 5 Aug 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion This is the dream I have every night...

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Like Meigh‏ @Like_Meigh 5 Aug 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion Why does my Onion make me cry?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. GujuGaanda‏ @ankit_rajpt 5 Aug 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion bull crap

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Cuck Husband‏ @cuckhusband256 5 Aug 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion I only need 1 crush and that is my hotwife.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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