TIP: Keep track of your children in large crowds by dyeing them bright colorshttp://onion.com/1SgI6Xi
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@TheOnion You forgot duct tape. The kids will have hrs of fun with it & it serves as a restraint if they go into a tantrum
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@TheOnion didn't you just tweet about the safest place to raise abducted children? Boulder, Colorado?
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@TheOnion@JenMadjarev2 take notesThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@RealDerekBuzbee
@TheOnion I second that!
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@TheOnion I want a watch and to tell people I'm into Horology. They will be impressed with my vocabulary, or disgusted with my lifestyle.Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion Top tip: Leave the kids at home! They might have a bad time, but who cares? You're on vacation!Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion what... no Home Alone reference?Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion you mean: avoid at all costs?Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion Do not forget: Kids should be on a leash in public places like airports....Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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